re: Was It Rape? Or Was It Regrettable Drunk Sex?

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Yeah this isn't theory. Like you, I'm a guy with a penis who has done more than his fair share or drinking and boning. I'm 32, so college hookups aren't that damned far in the past, and the rules still pretty much apply in the grown-up world, though obviously we get less sex in our 30s and the women who come home with us aren't curious wilting flowers looking for acceptance in the scene. I can't speak for your body, but enough alcohol to send me in and out of a fugue state is enough to make maintaining an erection difficult, and enough to make the idea of physical exertion somewhat less appealing. Not saying the guy wasn't drunk. I'm saying he probably was so drunk that he couldn't keep the count. Even when I'm drunk it's not hard to spot the people who are obviously much, much drunker than I am.

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All I can say is that on many hungover mornings I asked my gf at the time if we did it the night before. Granted it was a mutual decision.

Maybe that's the solution here- only get blackout drunk with people you feel comfortable doing it with at the end of the night. Though that may require a higher level of responsibility.