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re: Wife had a miscarriage..This sucks
Posted on 1/28/15 at 4:13 pm to EveryonesACoach
Posted on 1/28/15 at 4:13 pm to EveryonesACoach
Appreciate the responses everyone. 
3
Posted on 1/28/15 at 4:13 pm to Leonard Threenette
I'm so sorry, praying for you and yours.
Posted on 1/28/15 at 4:44 pm to Leonard Threenette
I had one before my first child and two before my second child.
To echo everyone else, be there for her - especially as a "screener".
My husband was awesome in keeping well meaning but super aggravating family from being all up in my business.
I found out later he kept his mom from coming up and staying with us because he knew that even though I love his mom, I wouldn't want her in our home during that time. The only people I wanted to be around were him, my parents, and my sister.
One thing that was really hard for me was to be around pregnant women. I felt like I was being unfair and irrational but it really hurt to see pregnant women for a while. I would think I was fine and then I would go to a party and see a friend who was pregnant and I would get super sad.
I have two teenagers now and my first miscarriage was almost 17 years ago but I sometimes still think about what that baby would have been like now.
To echo everyone else, be there for her - especially as a "screener".
My husband was awesome in keeping well meaning but super aggravating family from being all up in my business.
I found out later he kept his mom from coming up and staying with us because he knew that even though I love his mom, I wouldn't want her in our home during that time. The only people I wanted to be around were him, my parents, and my sister.
One thing that was really hard for me was to be around pregnant women. I felt like I was being unfair and irrational but it really hurt to see pregnant women for a while. I would think I was fine and then I would go to a party and see a friend who was pregnant and I would get super sad.
I have two teenagers now and my first miscarriage was almost 17 years ago but I sometimes still think about what that baby would have been like now.
Posted on 1/28/15 at 4:48 pm to Leonard Threenette
Sorry to hear it.
Yeah, being there for her is pretty much it... But to some degree, if you can plan a night or two out, or find a little more reason to hang out with her in a group setting (your friends, her friends, family), that can help.
There's a slight (but not so slight) difference in looking for activities to distract you from grief and legitimately wanting to be around good friends and company and having a good time. If you're going to plan to go out and do things with her, do it for the value of enjoying good company and not out of a sense of pity or as a distraction, which will undermine the genuine value of being with friends and loved ones.
Time does not so much heal wounds as much as your choices after such a loss re-shapes you and your outlook. You heal yourself-- perhaps in time-- but through how you respond. So, love your wife and be well. My thoughts and prayers are with you.
Yeah, being there for her is pretty much it... But to some degree, if you can plan a night or two out, or find a little more reason to hang out with her in a group setting (your friends, her friends, family), that can help.
There's a slight (but not so slight) difference in looking for activities to distract you from grief and legitimately wanting to be around good friends and company and having a good time. If you're going to plan to go out and do things with her, do it for the value of enjoying good company and not out of a sense of pity or as a distraction, which will undermine the genuine value of being with friends and loved ones.
Time does not so much heal wounds as much as your choices after such a loss re-shapes you and your outlook. You heal yourself-- perhaps in time-- but through how you respond. So, love your wife and be well. My thoughts and prayers are with you.
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