re: Corporate red tape takes more of my time than government red tape

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Probably because the government doesn't make their deadlines sooner than they are actually willing to deal with

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You obviously have never dealt with the federal government, especially with government contracts. Or for that matter private government. shite, just go to the DMV

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Seriously you think the person was just like "hey, this is a pretty cool old guy - I'm gonna do him a solid!"

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Actually, yes. In a civilized society, and when interacting with private business, not being an a-hole gets you very far. I'm willing to bet, you were being an a-hole as you walked in.