re: looking to buy my first gun

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If you look at a gun and it's less than $400 - $500, it's a POS.

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Fixed it for you.

To the OP:

FIRST, get some training, unless you and your wife are experienced. I'm assuming from your question y'all aren't. This training should include marksmanship PLUS legal issues (when are you allowed//not allowed to use deadly force).

THEN, Get a Glock (Model 17 or 19), HK, or Smith & Wesson (M&P model) in 9mm. Extremely reliable, good for self-defense, limited recoil, outstanding customer service and very simple to operate (just point and shoot).

Do not get anything made by Taurus, Kel-Tec, Diamondback, Rossi, Charter, etc. You might buy one of these and get a "good one." Or it may be of very poor quality. Just because a friend has a "good one" doesn't mean you'll get a reliable one. The QA/QC record for the "cheap" guns is very spotty.

It is almost unheard of for a Glock, HK or M&P to be defective "right out of the box." It can happen (They have sold hundreds of thousands of guns, and no company is perfect), but it's rare.

Kahrs are very reliable but are expensive for what they are, and require several hundred rounds through then for "break-in." And Kahr offers a limited warranty of only 5 years (valid only for the original owner.)

The Glocks, M&P's and HK's are good-to-go right out of the box. They need no break-in. The Glocks and M&P's have unconditional warranties -- not sure about HK.