re: Give us the cliffs of your wedding day

Groomsmen took me out the night before and got me shitfaced. One of them had to carry me back to room over his shoulder. He dropped me head first on the floor when he was trying to put the key in the door. So I had a rugburn on my forehead.

Woke up at about 9 in the morning to find the bathroom covered in blood. A lot of blood. My best man was naked in the bathtub with blood all over him. He had a bunch of really deep cuts on his hand. I woke him up and asked what the frick happened. He claimed he got into a knife fight with a midget. I had one of my other groomsmen drive him to the hospital to get stitched up.

So my bride walks up the aisle at our 2 PM wedding and sees a big rug burn on my forehead and my best man with bandages all over his hands and the first thing she says, right in front of the preacher is "What the frick did yall do last night?"