re: Best Movie Rants

quote:

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Clark W. Griswold...Christmas Vacation

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Yup.

Where do you think you're going? Nobody's leaving. Nobody's walking out on this fun, old-fashioned family Christmas. No, no. We're all in this together. This is a full-blown, four-alarm holiday emergency here. We're gonna press on, and we're gonna have the hap, hap, happiest Christmas since Bing Crosby tap-danced with Danny fricking Kaye. And when Santa squeezes his fat white arse down that chimney tonight, he's gonna find the jolliest bunch of assholes this side of the nuthouse.

Hey! If any of you are looking for any last-minute gift ideas for me, I have one. I'd like Frank Shirley, my boss, right here tonight. I want him brought from his happy holiday slumber over there on Melody Lane with all the other rich people and I want him brought right here, with a big ribbon on his head, and I want to look him straight in the eye and I want to tell him what a cheap, lying, no-good, rotten, four-flushing, low-life, snake-licking, dirt-eating, inbred, overstuffed, ignorant, blood-sucking, dog-kissing, brainless, dickless, hopeless, heartless, fat-arse, bug-eyed, stiff-legged, spotty-lipped, worm-headed sack of monkey shite he is! Hallelujah! Holy shite! Where's the Tylenol?