re: TD Music Board Original CopyPasta Thread

Early on a thursday morning, around 1 a.m., I was traveling in my hot air balloon (a Cameron). The winds were favourable and I soon found myself hovering somewhere over Los Angeles' central district. Down below I noticed a man trying to hail a taxi, two drove straight past him, ignoring him completely. I felt sorry for the man so I decided to help him out. I had started to drift away and had to ascend to find a gust of wind to carry me back, I used my binoculars to keep the man in view as I made my way back to him. During my approach I noticed yet another taxi ignore him. As I got closer I called out to him, offering him a lift. However, landing a hot air balloon is tricky business, so I decided to toss out the rope ladder instead. He managed to latch on eventually, and safely made his way into the basket.

As I reeled in the rope ladder he introduced himself as "Saul", and thanked me for helping him out. He explained to me how difficult it was for him, as a black man, to catch a taxi at that hour in that area, and was especially grateful because he knew how high the prices for lifting gas were at the time. I told him not to worry about it and asked him where he needed to be. I wasn't familiar with the area so after some explaining on his part, I managed to plan a course and once again set out to play the winds.

During our somewhat lengthy trip we got to talking, not surprising considering my outgoing nature. I revealed to him that I was an eccentric billionair, traveling the world by hot air balloon, in search of a solution to my lackluster penis, and he turned out to be a pornstar, going by the name of Shane Diesel, who also happened to be a hot air balloon enthusiast. For the next three hours we would talk about balloon travel and pornography, it was awesome.

As we neared our destination I started to vent hot air from the balloon to start our gradual descent. I decided it would be safer to just land this time and spare my new friend from dangling from the rope ladder at such a perilous height. I spotted a broad intersection not far from our intended destination and masterfully put the balloon down right in the middle of it. Fortunately there was next to no traffic at that hour.

Shane, or Saul, as I got to call him, disembarked and once again thanked me. He offered me money in exchange for the kindness I showed him but I would have none of it. Saul is a cool dude and kept insisting on returning the favour, uncomfortable with his persistance, I gave in. "Anything, man. You got me out of a bind!" So, after some deliberation I came up with a way for him to show his gratitude. Being on a quest for penis betterment, and him being a pornstar, admittedly I had become pretty curious about the dimensions of his penis. I asked him about it and he told me it was about 9 inches long and about 6.5 inches around.

Now, I'm not a fool of course, and know better than to take a man on his word when it comes to the size of his dick. Fortunately, like every balloonfarer worth his salt, I brought with me some rigid transparant 12 inch plastic rulers and some 5 foot cloth tape measures. "Let's see it Saul. And remember, dorsally!" So he whipped out his dick, started stimulating himself until he was at full attention, and placed the ruler on top. 7.7 inches. I noticed he didn't place the ruler all the way to his pubic bone so asked him to do so. 8.6 inches this time, it looked enormous. Now for the circumference. He wrapped the tape measure somewhere around the middle, 5.8 inches, 6.1 inches near the base. He did claim he wasn't able to produce a full erection because he just finished shooting a demanding scene before I picked him up. He had worked with a rather perfectionist director, who required him to do twelve takes on the money shot. He said his penis was still fatigued from a long, hard day of work. So as far as I know he could usually be about 9*6.5 inches. Since he was a fellow balloonfarer, I chose to believe him. You'll be hard pressed to find anyone more trustworthy than a balloonfarer afterall."Thanks, bro!" I made a note of it in my log, told him to keep the ruler and tape measure, because penis.

The time came for me to depart. I'd have shaken his hand before taking off but he had just touched himself, and for some reason he still had his enormous penis out. Which was pretty weird, because he was still standing in the middle of an intersection. Heh. Pornstars. "See you around!", I called.

I proceeded to fire up my balloon's sweet mk IV Super Double burner and steadily took to the sky again, to continue my quest for a better penis. As the balloon slowly rose up, and started to drift towards the rising sun, I looked down one last time to notice a single tear rolling down my new friend's left cheek, right on to his penis. The tear made it's way to the tip of his giant penis and right as the tear dropped to the ground we shouted our final farewells as I continued to ascend. "Nice meeting you, Saul!" I shouted, "Steady winds!" he returned.