Annual The Office Quotes Thread

Michael Scott: Two queens on Casino Night. I am going to drop a deuce on everybody.

This one is still my favorite

Dwight Schrute: What is my perfect crime? I break into Tiffany's at midnight. Do I go for the vault? No. I go for the chandelier; it's priceless. As I'm taking it down, a woman catches me. She tells me to stop. It's her father's business. She's Tiffany. I say no. We make love all night. In the morning the cops come and I escape in one of their uniforms. I tell her to meet me in Mexico but I go to Canada. I don't trust her. Besides, I love the cold. Thirty years later I get a postcard. I have a son. And he's the Chief of Police. This is where the story gets interesting: I tell Tiffany to meet me in Paris by the Trocadero. She's been waiting for me all these years. She's never taken another lover. I don't care. I don't show up. I go to Berlin. That's where I stashed the chandelier.

I can't find the exact quote but I love when Michael is considering who to promote and he's like "Dwight is a great salesman, a good friend, and an excellent employee. On the other hand...he is an idiot"

"Myth: rabies kills three people every year. Fact: rabies kills four people every year."

I was hoping one of these threads would pop up. I have been rewatching and I heard this one from Michael

quote:

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I have been saying the word manager a lot. So whenever Jo thinks manager she thinks of me. Camel Cigarettes did the same thing with Joe Camel, by making him look like a penis. I can't even go near a cigarette now, without thinking of a penis, and vice versa.

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