re: Crackpot ASOIAF Theories SPOILERS

CRACKPOT THEORY:

This one didn't occur to me until I read this passage from the epilogue of Dance with Dragons:

quote:

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"The bad cat was outside my widow last night," he informed Kevan at one point, "but Ser Pounce hissed at him and he ran off across the roofs,"
"The bad cat?" Ser Kevan said amused. He is a sweet boy.
"An old black tomcat with a torn ear," Cersei told him. "A filthy thing, and foul-tempered. He clawed Joff's hand once." She made a face. "The cats keep the rats down, I know, but that one...he's been known to attack ravens in the rookery."
"I will ask the ratters to set a trap for him." Ser Kevan...

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The cats keep the rats down like a spider culls the flies.

Varys is a warg and the "bad cat" is his vessel along with all his little birds (children missing their tongues).

The prologue of Dance with Dragons was basically a chapter on warging and consequences of warging into other humans.

In the prologue when Varamyr tried to warg into Thistle, she screams, "GET OUT! GET OUT!"... then the Varamyr bit their tongue off. I'd speculate it's easier to warg into a six year old than a fully grown human.

Tyrion, in Varys's chambers awaiting a visit with Shae, noticed there were no papers or traces of all the "whispers" Varys gets. There probably wasn't any because he communicates with his little spies telepathically through his warging abilities.

Moreover, Jaime describes many of the secret passages searched in the Red Keep being too small for grown men and some even too small for children. A few men ended up getting stuck in the search for Tyrion.

The warging abilities could also explain his exceptional talents as a thief, he could search any house he wanted in the skin of a household pet.

It's also safe to assume Varys never left King's Landing after Tyrion fled. In the epilogue it's clear Varys knew everything that's been going on in King's Landing, even up to the last small council meeting that took place just hours before.