re: Crackpot ASOIAF Theories SPOILERS

Same here, I'm not a big fantasy guy so I don't know what to read.

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I really, really don't want to hijack this thread, but I need a new book series to read. Finished my ASOIAF reread a month ago and read Abraham Lincoln Vampier Hunter after. It just couldn't grasp me anywhere close to ASOIAF. I've already read the Dunk & Egg tales. Does anyone have a suggestion of a book series that would keep my attention half as well as ASOIAF?

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For a basic fantasy breakdown for you to consider, a number of guys I dig a bunch:

Joe Abercrombie- First Law Trilogy, three followup books set in the same world. He's got a similar gritty low magic world to Martin, lots of grey characters and bastards abound, as well as a dark sense of humor.

Steven Erikson- Malazan Books of the Fallen. Huge 10 volume door stopper series. Opposite of Martin and Abercrombie in that it's very high magic. Tons of Red Viper style badasses abound, and probably the best world building of most any series I've read. Can be a bit difficult to jump into the first book or two since he's a show and not tell sort of author, but he's top notch to me. This series has the advantage of being finished.

Scott Lynch- The Lies of Locke Lamora, Red Seas Red Skies. Dude had a divorce and a mental breakdown after the second book, so he's taking about as long as Martin to get the third book finished, but The Lies of Locke Lamora is probably the best fantasy novel I've read in the past couple decades outside of ASOS. Sort of ASOIAF meets Ocean's Eleven. The second book was kinda average, but hoping the third returns to form once it's published.

Pat Rothfuss- The Name of the Wind, The Wise Man's Fear. Both his books in this series have been very good, but much like Martin he's taking forever to get them out, so who knows when you'll see book three.

Jim Butcher- The Dresden Files. A wizard detective series set in a modern day setting where fae, vampires, werewolves, etc are all real. Starts off as a basic detective style series and ramps up to one of the better overall plot driven series around. These are short books in the 400-500 page range, but there are currently 14 of a planned 24-25 out, and he puts them out one a year pretty much. The first 2-3 are solid but not amazing, but the rest are awesome and it's one of my favorite series along with Martin and Abercrombie atm.

A few others I would put below those above, but well worth reading:

Glen Cook- The Black Company series

Richard Morgan- Takeshi Kovacs series starting with Altered Carbon (this is sci fi rather than fantasy, but awesome).

Mark Lawrence- Prince of thorns, King of Thorns

Matthew Stover- Caine series starting with Heroes Die

Paul Kearney- Monarchies of God series.

R Scott Bakker- The Prince of Nothing series

Robin Hobb- The Farseer trilogy

KJ Parker- The Scavenger trilogy, The folding Knife

Long list, but I think Abercrombie, Erikson, or Butcher could keep you entertained for a while, and Lynch and Rothfuss are well worth reading even if it takes 3-4 years for their next books.