Alabama Driver's License Application

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quote:

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Newspapers/magazines you subscribe to:
[_] National Enquirer [_] The Globe
[_] TV Guide [_] Soap Opera Digest
[_] American Rifleman

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FIFY

You left off the part that asks:

"Religion: ____ Baptist ____ Other"

UPDATED APPLICATION:


STATE OF ALABAMA DRIVERS LICENSE APPLICATION

Last name: _________________ Second Last name: ______________ Third Last name: _______________ [_] What's a Last Name?
First name:
(Check appropriate box) [_] What does appropriate mean?
[_] billy bob [_] Bobby-Sue
[_] Billy-Joe [_] Bobby-Jo
[_] Billy-Ray [_] Bobby-Ann
[_] Billy-Sue [_] Bobby-Lee
[_] Billy-Mae [_] Bobby-Ellen

[_] Bear Bryant
[_] Nick Saban


Age: ______ (if unsure, pick from the hat on your left)
Sex: _____M_____F_____Not sure [_] I'm laughing at the word "Sex"
Shoe Size: _____Left_____Right [_] I don't wear shoes

Occupation: (Occupation= A Job)
[_] Farmer [_] Mechanic
[_] Hair Dresser [_] Waitress
[_] Unemployed [_] Dirty Politician

Spouse’s Name_________________________
2nd Spouse’s Name: _________________
3rd Spouse’s Name: _________________
Lover’s Name: ________________________
2nd Lover’s Name: ___________________
[_] I'm too drunk to answer

Relationship to spouse:
[_] Sister [_] Aunt
[_] Brother [_] Uncle
[_] Mother [_] Son
[_] Father [_] Daughter
[_] Cousin [_] Pet
[_] I am my spouse

Religion:
[_] Channel 19 TV Mass

Number of children living in household: _____
Number of children living in shed: _____
Number that are yours: _____
Number that you don't know are yours: _____
[_] I hate children

Mother’s Name: ___________________
Father’s Name: ___________________ (If not sure, leave blank)

Education: 1 2 3 4 (Circle highest grade completed)

Do you [_] own or [_] rent your mobile home? Skip question If you stole your mobile home.
___ Total number of vehicles that you own
___ Number of vehicles that still crank
___ Number of vehicles in front yard
___ Number of vehicles in back yard
___ Number of vehicles on cement blocks

Where your firearms are kept:
[_] truck [_] kitchen
[_] bedroom [_] bathroom
[_] shed [_] Under Baby's crib
[_] In Cereal Box [_] Cops confiscated my firearms

Model and year of your pickup: _______ 194_

Do you have a gun rack?
[_] Yes [_] No, if no, please explain:
____________________________________________.
If yes, the cops will be arriving at your house in 5 minutes

Newspapers/magazines you subscribe to:
[_] National Enquirer [_] The Globe
[_] TV Guide [_] Soap Opera Digest
[_] Rifle and Shotgun [_] Chewing Tobacco Digest
[_] How to be a respectable Hillbilly
[_] I can't read

If you can't count, please ask for assistance:
___ Number of times you’ve seen a UFO
___ Number of times you’ve seen Elvis
___ Number of times you’ve seen Elvis in a UFO
___ Number of times you've seen Elvis Fight the aliens in the UFO
___ Number of times you lied about seeing Elvis or a UFO just to be on tv
___ Number of time you got abducted by aliens
___ Number of times you abducted an alien
___ Number of times you failed this driver's test

How often do you bathe:
[_] Weekly
[_] Monthly
[_] When it rains
[_] Not applicable

Color of teeth:
[_] Yellow [_] Brownish-Yellow
[_] Brown [_] Black
[_] N/A
How many teeth?_____
Brand of chewing tobacco you prefer: [_] Red-Man

How far is your home from a paved road?
[_] 200-400 miles
[_] over 400 miles
[_] what’s a miles?
[_] I don't have a home

This is the end of the Application. Thank you for your time.

[_] I am still sitting here not knowing the application is complete. If so, check the next box
STATE OF ALABAMA DRIVERS LICENSE APPLICATION

Last name: _________________ Second Last name: ______________ Third Last name: _______________ [_] What's a Last Name?
First name:
(Check appropriate box) [_] What does appropriate mean?
[_] billy bob [_] Bobby-Sue
[_] Billy-Joe [_] Bobby-Jo
[_] Billy-Ray [_] Bobby-Ann
[_] Billy-Sue [_] Bobby-Lee
[_] Billy-Mae [_] Bobby-Ellen

[_] Bear Bryant
[_] Nick Saban


Age: ______ (if unsure, pick from the hat on your left)
Sex: _____M_____F_____Not sure [_] I'm laughing at the word "Sex"
Shoe Size: _____Left_____Right [_] I don't wear shoes

Occupation: (Occupation= A Job)
[_] Farmer [_] Mechanic
[_] Hair Dresser [_] Waitress
[_] Unemployed [_] Dirty Politician

Spouse’s Name_________________________
2nd Spouse’s Name: _________________
3rd Spouse’s Name: _________________
Lover’s Name: ________________________
2nd Lover’s Name: ___________________
[_] I'm too drunk to answer

Relationship to spouse:
[_] Sister [_] Aunt
[_] Brother [_] Uncle
[_] Mother [_] Son
[_] Father [_] Daughter
[_] Cousin [_] Pet
[_] I am my spouse

Religion:
[_] Channel 19 TV Mass

Number of children living in household: _____
Number of children living in shed: _____
Number that are yours: _____
Number that you don't know are yours: _____
[_] I hate children

Mother’s Name: ___________________
Father’s Name: ___________________ (If not sure, leave blank)

Education: 1 2 3 4 (Circle highest grade completed)

Do you [_] own or [_] rent your mobile home? Skip question If you stole your mobile home.
___ Total number of vehicles that you own
___ Number of vehicles that still crank
___ Number of vehicles in front yard
___ Number of vehicles in back yard
___ Number of vehicles on cement blocks

Where your firearms are kept:
[_] truck [_] kitchen
[_] bedroom [_] bathroom
[_] shed [_] Under Baby's crib
[_] In Cereal Box [_] Cops confiscated my firearms

Model and year of your pickup: _______ 194_

Do you have a gun rack?
[_] Yes [_] No, if no, please explain:
____________________________________________.
If yes, the cops will be arriving at your house in 5 minutes

Newspapers/magazines you subscribe to:
[_] National Enquirer [_] The Globe
[_] TV Guide [_] Soap Opera Digest
[_] Rifle and Shotgun [_] Chewing Tobacco Digest
[_] How to be a respectable Hillbilly
[_] I can't read

If you can't count, please ask for assistance:
___ Number of times you’ve seen a UFO
___ Number of times you’ve seen Elvis
___ Number of times you’ve seen Elvis in a UFO
___ Number of times you've seen Elvis Fight the aliens in the UFO
___ Number of times you lied about seeing Elvis or a UFO just to be on tv
___ Number of time you got abducted by aliens
___ Number of times you abducted an alien
___ Number of times you failed this driver's test

How often do you bathe:
[_] Weekly
[_] Monthly
[_] When it rains
[_] Not applicable

Color of teeth:
[_] Yellow [_] Brownish-Yellow
[_] Brown [_] Black
[_] N/A
How many teeth?_____
Brand of chewing tobacco you prefer: [_] Red-Man

How far is your home from a paved road?
[_] 200-400 miles
[_] over 400 miles
[_] what’s a miles?
[_] I don't have a home

This is the end of the Application. Thank you for your time.

[_] I am still sitting here not knowing the application is complete. If YES, check the next box:

[_] I am an idiot