TheInvisibleMuskrat

UPDATED APPLICATION:


STATE OF ALABAMA DRIVERS LICENSE APPLICATION

Last name: _________________ Second Last name: ______________ Third Last name: _______________ [_] What's a Last Name?
First name:
(Check appropriate box) [_] What does appropriate mean?
[_] billy bob [_] Bobby-Sue
[_] Billy-Joe [_] Bobby-Jo
[_] Billy-Ray [_] Bobby-Ann
[_] Billy-Sue [_] Bobby-Lee
[_] Billy-Mae [_] Bobby-Ellen

[_] Bear Bryant
[_] Nick Saban


Age: ______ (if unsure, pick from the hat on your left)
Sex: _____M_____F_____Not sure [_] I'm laughing at the word "Sex"
Shoe Size: _____Left_____Right [_] I don't wear shoes

Occupation: (Occupation= A Job)
[_] Farmer [_] Mechanic
[_] Hair Dresser [_] Waitress
[_] Unemployed [_] Dirty Politician

Spouse’s Name_________________________
2nd Spouse’s Name: _________________
3rd Spouse’s Name: _________________
Lover’s Name: ________________________
2nd Lover’s Name: ___________________
[_] I'm too drunk to answer

Relationship to spouse:
[_] Sister [_] Aunt
[_] Brother [_] Uncle
[_] Mother [_] Son
[_] Father [_] Daughter
[_] Cousin [_] Pet
[_] I am my spouse

Religion:
[_] Channel 19 TV Mass

Number of children living in household: _____
Number of children living in shed: _____
Number that are yours: _____
Number that you don't know are yours: _____
[_] I hate children

Mother’s Name: ___________________
Father’s Name: ___________________ (If not sure, leave blank)

Education: 1 2 3 4 (Circle highest grade completed)

Do you [_] own or [_] rent your mobile home? Skip question If you stole your mobile home.
___ Total number of vehicles that you own
___ Number of vehicles that still crank
___ Number of vehicles in front yard
___ Number of vehicles in back yard
___ Number of vehicles on cement blocks

Where your firearms are kept:
[_] truck [_] kitchen
[_] bedroom [_] bathroom
[_] shed [_] Under Baby's crib
[_] In Cereal Box [_] Cops confiscated my firearms

Model and year of your pickup: _______ 194_

Do you have a gun rack?
[_] Yes [_] No, if no, please explain:
____________________________________________.
If yes, the cops will be arriving at your house in 5 minutes

Newspapers/magazines you subscribe to:
[_] National Enquirer [_] The Globe
[_] TV Guide [_] Soap Opera Digest
[_] Rifle and Shotgun [_] Chewing Tobacco Digest
[_] How to be a respectable Hillbilly
[_] I can't read

If you can't count, please ask for assistance:
___ Number of times you’ve seen a UFO
___ Number of times you’ve seen Elvis
___ Number of times you’ve seen Elvis in a UFO
___ Number of times you've seen Elvis Fight the aliens in the UFO
___ Number of times you lied about seeing Elvis or a UFO just to be on tv
___ Number of time you got abducted by aliens
___ Number of times you abducted an alien
___ Number of times you failed this driver's test

How often do you bathe:
[_] Weekly
[_] Monthly
[_] When it rains
[_] Not applicable

Color of teeth:
[_] Yellow [_] Brownish-Yellow
[_] Brown [_] Black
[_] N/A
How many teeth?_____
Brand of chewing tobacco you prefer: [_] Red-Man

How far is your home from a paved road?
[_] 200-400 miles
[_] over 400 miles
[_] what’s a miles?
[_] I don't have a home

This is the end of the Application. Thank you for your time.

[_] I am still sitting here not knowing the application is complete. If so, check the next box
STATE OF ALABAMA DRIVERS LICENSE APPLICATION

Last name: _________________ Second Last name: ______________ Third Last name: _______________ [_] What's a Last Name?
First name:
(Check appropriate box) [_] What does appropriate mean?
[_] billy bob [_] Bobby-Sue
[_] Billy-Joe [_] Bobby-Jo
[_] Billy-Ray [_] Bobby-Ann
[_] Billy-Sue [_] Bobby-Lee
[_] Billy-Mae [_] Bobby-Ellen

[_] Bear Bryant
[_] Nick Saban


Age: ______ (if unsure, pick from the hat on your left)
Sex: _____M_____F_____Not sure [_] I'm laughing at the word "Sex"
Shoe Size: _____Left_____Right [_] I don't wear shoes

Occupation: (Occupation= A Job)
[_] Farmer [_] Mechanic
[_] Hair Dresser [_] Waitress
[_] Unemployed [_] Dirty Politician

Spouse’s Name_________________________
2nd Spouse’s Name: _________________
3rd Spouse’s Name: _________________
Lover’s Name: ________________________
2nd Lover’s Name: ___________________
[_] I'm too drunk to answer

Relationship to spouse:
[_] Sister [_] Aunt
[_] Brother [_] Uncle
[_] Mother [_] Son
[_] Father [_] Daughter
[_] Cousin [_] Pet
[_] I am my spouse

Religion:
[_] Channel 19 TV Mass

Number of children living in household: _____
Number of children living in shed: _____
Number that are yours: _____
Number that you don't know are yours: _____
[_] I hate children

Mother’s Name: ___________________
Father’s Name: ___________________ (If not sure, leave blank)

Education: 1 2 3 4 (Circle highest grade completed)

Do you [_] own or [_] rent your mobile home? Skip question If you stole your mobile home.
___ Total number of vehicles that you own
___ Number of vehicles that still crank
___ Number of vehicles in front yard
___ Number of vehicles in back yard
___ Number of vehicles on cement blocks

Where your firearms are kept:
[_] truck [_] kitchen
[_] bedroom [_] bathroom
[_] shed [_] Under Baby's crib
[_] In Cereal Box [_] Cops confiscated my firearms

Model and year of your pickup: _______ 194_

Do you have a gun rack?
[_] Yes [_] No, if no, please explain:
____________________________________________.
If yes, the cops will be arriving at your house in 5 minutes

Newspapers/magazines you subscribe to:
[_] National Enquirer [_] The Globe
[_] TV Guide [_] Soap Opera Digest
[_] Rifle and Shotgun [_] Chewing Tobacco Digest
[_] How to be a respectable Hillbilly
[_] I can't read

If you can't count, please ask for assistance:
___ Number of times you’ve seen a UFO
___ Number of times you’ve seen Elvis
___ Number of times you’ve seen Elvis in a UFO
___ Number of times you've seen Elvis Fight the aliens in the UFO
___ Number of times you lied about seeing Elvis or a UFO just to be on tv
___ Number of time you got abducted by aliens
___ Number of times you abducted an alien
___ Number of times you failed this driver's test

How often do you bathe:
[_] Weekly
[_] Monthly
[_] When it rains
[_] Not applicable

Color of teeth:
[_] Yellow [_] Brownish-Yellow
[_] Brown [_] Black
[_] N/A
How many teeth?_____
Brand of chewing tobacco you prefer: [_] Red-Man

How far is your home from a paved road?
[_] 200-400 miles
[_] over 400 miles
[_] what’s a miles?
[_] I don't have a home

This is the end of the Application. Thank you for your time.

[_] I am still sitting here not knowing the application is complete. If YES, check the next box:

[_] I am an idiot

*leaving

STATE OF ALABAMA DRIVERS LICENSE APPLICATION

Last name: _________________
First name:
(Check appropriate box)
[_] billy bob [_] Bobby-Sue
[_] Billy-Joe [_] Bobby-Jo
[_] Billy-Ray [_] Bobby-Ann
[_] Billy-Sue [_] Bobby-Lee
[_] Billy-Mae [_] Bobby-Ellen
[_] Billy-Jack

[_] Nick Saban

Age: ______ (if unsure, guess)
Sex: _____M_____F_____Not sure
Shoe Size: _____Left_____Right

Occupation:
[_] Farmer [_] Mechanic
[_] Hair Dresser [_] Waitress
[_] Unemployed [_] Dirty Politician

Spouse’s Name_________________________
2nd Spouse’s Name: _________________
3rd Spouse’s Name: _________________
Lover’s Name: ________________________
2nd Lover’s Name: ___________________

Relationship to spouse:
[_] Sister [_] Aunt
[_] Brother [_] Uncle
[_] Mother [_] Son
[_] Father [_] Daughter
[_] Cousin [_] Pet

Number of children living in household: _____
Number of children living in shed: _____
Number that are yours: _____

Mother’s Name: ___________________
Father’s Name: ___________________ (If not sure, leave blank)

Education: 1 2 3 4 (Circle highest grade completed)

Do you [_] own or [_] rent your mobile home?
___ Total number of vehicles that you own
___ Number of vehicles that still crank
___ Number of vehicles in front yard
___ Number of vehicles in back yard
___ Number of vehicles on cement blocks

Where your firearms are kept:
[_] truck [_] kitchen
[_] bedroom [_] bathroom
[_] shed

Model and year of your pickup: _______ 194_

Do you have a gun rack?
[_] Yes [_] No; if no, please explain:
_____________________

Newspapers/magazines you subscribe to:
[_] National Enquirer [_] The Globe
[_] TV Guide [_] Soap Opera Digest
[_] Rifle and Shotgun

___ Number of times you’ve seen a UFO
___ Number of times you’ve seen Elvis
___ Number of times you’ve seen Elvis in a UFO

How often do you bathe:
[_] Weekly
[_] Monthly
[_] Not applicable

Color of teeth:
[_] Yellow [_] Brownish-Yellow
[_] Brown [_] Black
[_] N/A
How many?_____
Brand of chewing tobacco you prefer: [_] Red-Man

How far is your home from a paved road?
[_] 200-400 miles
[_] over 400 miles
[_] what’s a miles?

One foggy night, an LSU fan was heading north and an Alabama fan was driving south. While crossing a narrow bridge, they hit each other head-on, mangling both cars.

The Alabama fan manages to climb out of his car and survey the damage. He looks at his twisted car and says, “Man, I’m lucky to be alive!”

Likewise, the LSU fan gets out of his car uninjured, he too feeling fortunate to have survived.

The Alabama fan walks over to the LSU fan and says, “Hey, man, I think this is a sign that we should put away our petty differences and live as friends instead of being rivals.”

The LSU fan thinks for a moment and says, “You know, you’re absolutely right! We should be friends. In fact, I’m going to see if something else survived the wreck.”

The LSU fan then pops open his trunk and removes a full, undamaged bottle of Jack Daniel’s. He says to the Alabama fan, “I think this is another sign- we should toast to our newfound friendship.” The Alabama fan agrees and grabs the bottle. After sucking down half of the bottle, the Alabama fan hands it back to the LSU fan and says, “Your turn!”

The LSU fan calmly twists the cap back on the bottle, throws the rest of the bottle over the bridge into the river and says, “Nah, I think I’ll just wait for the cops to show up.”

What's wrong with seeing it again?

:rotflmao: :cheers:

Just stating the worst possible situation

correct me if i'm wrong:

but according to my understanding, the SEC uses BCS standings to eliminate 1 team, and then uses head-to-head to decide between the remaining 2 teams.

so if arky and bama win out, arky would jump ahead of LSU and lsu would likely drop below bama because their loss was later. bama owns the tiebreaker for their head-to-head with arky, and thus gets a birth in the SEC Championship Game, even though LSU beat them.

so the only way arky gets in the SEC Championship Game, even with a win against LSU, is if LSU stays ahead of alabama in the BCS rankings after losing to arkansas.

is this right?

Congratulations Enigma... You accomplished absolutely nothing by commenting on this post.

Enigma=Bama Fan?

Yes a very comfortable rock