re: The Cabin in the Woods. TulaneLSU's 2011-12 movie review thread

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Gulliver's Travels - it's official: Jack Black can only play one character and that character is not cool and not funny. This is a terrible movie, one of the worst of the years and there's zero redeeming about it. Acting, story, everything. Terrible. 0/10.

The Hangover II In continuation of the poo-poo-pee-pee-penis-vagina-drugs comedy of the late 90's and 2000's, the Hangover II has succeeded in making a movie of sheer debasement. The entire movie was uncreative, which at least you cannot say for the first one. The makers of this movie were content to do no writing and no significant directing because they knew the American public is stupid enough to pay to see this. I didn't laugh once. The only interesting thing was seeing Bangkok, but Jean Claude Van Damme movies do a better job with cinematography. 1/10

Harry Potter (2nd to last) Like Narnia I'd never seen any of its predecessors. Perhaps had I, I might have understood what was going on. I didn't. From start to finish I was confused and wondered who all these characters were. Fans of this movie obviously had an attachment to Harry before seeing this one because on its own, it is an utter failure. 4/10

Harry Potter (the last one) "'Father, if it is not possible for this cup to be taken away unless I drink it, may your will be done.'" So lives the entirety of the Harry Potter series, in my unread, unwatched opinion. All the books are one laywoman's descriptive sermon on Matthew 26. But the series' size and breadth is an elaborate misdirection. Only at the end do we realize what the series is about: the Garden of Gethsemane: coming to realize and face your fate, even if it means sacrificing everything.

In the one tear drops in the bowl scene, all is made known about Harry. I feel I needn't watch or read any of the books because all is peripheral to what is revealed in that bowl. All 20 hours of the film; all thousands of poorly written pages of words. All have been diverting our attention through cheeky wizardry and witchcraft from the heart of the story: Harry is his own foil. Jesus made a similar realization in the desert of temptation where sustenance, riches, and power are offered in exchange for disobedience of God and loyalty to himself (one might argue to Satan.) "It's the quality of one's convictions that determines success, not the number of followers" is how it's put elsewhere in the movie. This providential philosophy is how Jesus, the prophets, and all the great martyrs have lived. It's how the great posters on TD have lived and posted as well. For all the stupid spells, gadgets, brooms, and mutant creatures everywhere, Harry Potter is a morality tale about pursuing the good despite the cost.

I enjoyed this movie much more than the other two HP movies I saw. Despite its dark setting and CGI, the characters seemed to matter a little more and the story came together quite well. As the nerds in the theater next to me wept during much of the last thirty minutes of the film, I felt a surge of internal emotion. Not enough to elicit magical tears, but enough to give the movie a positive rating. 7/10

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