What the oil spill is really like

People keep talking about the oil spill and saying it's not that much compared to the whole Gulf of Mexico. Posted this in another thread, but thought I'd share it.


I'll give you a better way of thinking about the spill.

Imagine it's a hot day, you've been doing yardwork, and you're all sweaty and dying of thirst. And this hot babe who's a dead ringer for Megan Fox or ScarJo comes up to you and has this cool glass of ice water, beads dripping off the side. Feel your mouth water?

You want it so bad. She's just about to give it to you and does a little wink, just one second baby. I'm gonna make this better for you.

Gosh, you're dying from thirst and have a stiffie to boot.

Now imagine the hot babe saying, this glass is like the Gulf of Mexico. And the hot babe calls over her fat, pig-belly cousin that looks like a guy from Deliverance.

He takes that cool glass of water from the hot babe, it brushes past her chest, oh you want it so bad.

And he spits some tobacco juice in it. It's spit and tobacco juice and a little bit of biscuits that he was eating earlier.

And then he scratches his arse and rolls something (who knows what) between his fingers and tosses it in that glass.

Then he rubs his sack and puts a little hair on the top. And he gives it back to the hot girl, she winks and says, here ya go, you big man.

Spit tobacco, dingleberries and nut juice. It only makes up 1 or 2% of the water.

There ya go. Thirsty?