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Message

Eddie's mailbox and the Saints game
Posted on 12/1/09 at 1:04 pm
Posted on 12/1/09 at 1:04 pm
Anyone see the spot ESPN did with the drilling Rig Liberty during the game with all the roughnecks wearing Saint's game? I was on that rig yesterday afternoon after a twenty minute boat ride south of Venice (La not Italy). Some of the the roughnecks on the rig told me ESPN had been out there earlier and to look for them on TV.
By the time the boat hit the dock on the way back from the Liberty I had about a five hour drive back home. I figured I would get home just in time to shower and settle in on my easy chair for the game. I was right on schedule and hit my chair about twenty minutes before kick-off. Thats when the nightmare began.
I clicked the remote for the TV and nothing happened. The batteries were out and I remembered the last time that happened I had scrounged batteries from every other 3aaa using thingamajig in the house. There wasn't another appliance left to rob. I can not watch football without a remote to do my own tivo powered replays. I even have my own challenge flag to throw and then replay the down. I had just enough time to get to Walgreens for a new set of batteries, so off I went.
I backed out of the driveway in my Yukon probably a little faster than I intended. My neighbor Eddie has a big brick mailbox right across the street from my driveway. This dawned on me about one second before I crashed into it. What a dumb place to put a mailbox.
There really was not that much damage to my car, but Eddie's mailbox was short a few bricks. I thought that to be fitting since Eddie was short a few bricks himself. Should I go get Eddie or go get the batteries and tell him later?
As I pondered the moral dilemma presented I caught a glimpse of my wife in the rear view mirrow. She had a golf club with her which looked to be my Taylor made R-7 driver with the reversible titanium screws (by moving the screws around you can supposedly hit draws and fades on command). The next thing I knew she was bashing out the rear glass of my vehicle. The glass was hooking by me wildly so I figured the screws were set for a draw swing.
"Hold on I am coming" I hear here scream through the now completely broken out back window. "Calm down honey" I reply as I open the driver's side door to step out. "I am fine".
About that time Eddie rushes out, I presume to see if I need any medical assistance. "What did you do to my mailbox Peterson?" Eddie hollers. "You better have insurance, you moron". The first thought that went through my mind is I should sue Eddie for building a two ton brick mailbox right across from my driveway. The next thing that occured to me was that Eddie and I had been neighbors for ten years and he didn't know my name. Peterson lived two houses down.
Then I got a good look at my car. And my driver. "Why did you bust out my windows? What were you thinking?" I asked my wife, probably a little louder than I intended. "I thought you were trapped" she replied. "I was trying to save your life. Why are you being so mean?" she shot back. "When Tiger Wood's wife saved him he put up on his web site how courageous his wife Elin was".
"Well I don't have a web site" I responded "and I don't have a Swedish supermodel, err..". You know when your mouth overpowers your brain, but you usually know too late. "Go ahead, finish the sentence" my wife says with hands on hips. "Yes finish the sentence Peterson" Eddie adds, "you really are a moron aren't you?".
"Brees to Henderson, touchdowwnnnn" I hear my son holler from the house, saving me from saying something even stupider. Eddie, my wive and I go running into the house to catch the replay and watch in amazement as the nearest Patriot's defensive back was about a French Quarter block away from Devery as he caught the ball and dasehd into the endzone. "Those Patriot corners are dumber than you Peterson" Eddie volunteered, and I could hardly argue that point. I went to play it back and realized I still had no triple-a batteries. "I have batteries" Peterson offered, "why didnt you come ask me like a normal neighbor before running down my mailbox?"
"You're right Eddie, and I am sorry for clipping your mailbox and I should have been more neighborly. Why dont you stick around and watch the game with us?" Well I had no idea what a big saints fan Eddie was. In ten minutes he is back at the house with the batteries wearing a vintage Danny Abramowicz jersey. He even had one of those big black and gold foam hands. For the next three hours the three of us watched the Saints pummel the Patriots. Its funny how you can live next to a guy and never know him. Eddie was actually a fun guy and quite a Saint's fan. I wondered if I should have invited Peterson over too.
The night ended with me properly thanking my wife for saving my life and assuring Eddie I would get his mailbox fixed. With the Saints winning every week who needs their own website and a Swedish supermodel wife anyway?
By the time the boat hit the dock on the way back from the Liberty I had about a five hour drive back home. I figured I would get home just in time to shower and settle in on my easy chair for the game. I was right on schedule and hit my chair about twenty minutes before kick-off. Thats when the nightmare began.
I clicked the remote for the TV and nothing happened. The batteries were out and I remembered the last time that happened I had scrounged batteries from every other 3aaa using thingamajig in the house. There wasn't another appliance left to rob. I can not watch football without a remote to do my own tivo powered replays. I even have my own challenge flag to throw and then replay the down. I had just enough time to get to Walgreens for a new set of batteries, so off I went.
I backed out of the driveway in my Yukon probably a little faster than I intended. My neighbor Eddie has a big brick mailbox right across the street from my driveway. This dawned on me about one second before I crashed into it. What a dumb place to put a mailbox.
There really was not that much damage to my car, but Eddie's mailbox was short a few bricks. I thought that to be fitting since Eddie was short a few bricks himself. Should I go get Eddie or go get the batteries and tell him later?
As I pondered the moral dilemma presented I caught a glimpse of my wife in the rear view mirrow. She had a golf club with her which looked to be my Taylor made R-7 driver with the reversible titanium screws (by moving the screws around you can supposedly hit draws and fades on command). The next thing I knew she was bashing out the rear glass of my vehicle. The glass was hooking by me wildly so I figured the screws were set for a draw swing.
"Hold on I am coming" I hear here scream through the now completely broken out back window. "Calm down honey" I reply as I open the driver's side door to step out. "I am fine".
About that time Eddie rushes out, I presume to see if I need any medical assistance. "What did you do to my mailbox Peterson?" Eddie hollers. "You better have insurance, you moron". The first thought that went through my mind is I should sue Eddie for building a two ton brick mailbox right across from my driveway. The next thing that occured to me was that Eddie and I had been neighbors for ten years and he didn't know my name. Peterson lived two houses down.
Then I got a good look at my car. And my driver. "Why did you bust out my windows? What were you thinking?" I asked my wife, probably a little louder than I intended. "I thought you were trapped" she replied. "I was trying to save your life. Why are you being so mean?" she shot back. "When Tiger Wood's wife saved him he put up on his web site how courageous his wife Elin was".
"Well I don't have a web site" I responded "and I don't have a Swedish supermodel, err..". You know when your mouth overpowers your brain, but you usually know too late. "Go ahead, finish the sentence" my wife says with hands on hips. "Yes finish the sentence Peterson" Eddie adds, "you really are a moron aren't you?".
"Brees to Henderson, touchdowwnnnn" I hear my son holler from the house, saving me from saying something even stupider. Eddie, my wive and I go running into the house to catch the replay and watch in amazement as the nearest Patriot's defensive back was about a French Quarter block away from Devery as he caught the ball and dasehd into the endzone. "Those Patriot corners are dumber than you Peterson" Eddie volunteered, and I could hardly argue that point. I went to play it back and realized I still had no triple-a batteries. "I have batteries" Peterson offered, "why didnt you come ask me like a normal neighbor before running down my mailbox?"
"You're right Eddie, and I am sorry for clipping your mailbox and I should have been more neighborly. Why dont you stick around and watch the game with us?" Well I had no idea what a big saints fan Eddie was. In ten minutes he is back at the house with the batteries wearing a vintage Danny Abramowicz jersey. He even had one of those big black and gold foam hands. For the next three hours the three of us watched the Saints pummel the Patriots. Its funny how you can live next to a guy and never know him. Eddie was actually a fun guy and quite a Saint's fan. I wondered if I should have invited Peterson over too.
The night ended with me properly thanking my wife for saving my life and assuring Eddie I would get his mailbox fixed. With the Saints winning every week who needs their own website and a Swedish supermodel wife anyway?
Posted on 12/1/09 at 1:05 pm to paper tiger
dats a lot of wurds rite dere.
Posted on 12/1/09 at 1:06 pm to paper tiger
are you an aspiring writer? nobody including myself has time to read this non-sense
Posted on 12/1/09 at 1:08 pm to paper tiger
Wow. Thats more words than I have used in over a thousand post. Whats up with all the correct grammer and spelling though?
Welcome anyway . I think there's room for one more. 
Posted on 12/1/09 at 1:11 pm to paper tiger
Is your wife mentally handicapped?
Posted on 12/1/09 at 1:12 pm to goatmilker
quote:
As I pondered the moral dilemma presented I caught a glimpse of my wife in the rear view mirrow. She had a golf club with her which looked to be my Taylor made R-7 driver with the reversible titanium screws (by moving the screws around you can supposedly hit draws and fades on command). The next thing I knew she was bashing out the rear glass of my vehicle. The glass was hooking by me wildly so I figured the screws were set for a draw swing.
:ithinkiseewhatyoudidhere:
Posted on 12/1/09 at 1:15 pm to paper tiger
You should credit the original author, St Dude over at saintsreport if you are gonna steal his stuff..just sayin
Posted on 12/1/09 at 1:17 pm to helofixer
quote:
You should credit the original author, St Dude over at saintsreport if you are gonna steal his stuff..just sayin
I would have definitely made damn sure nobody thought i wrote that garbage.
Posted on 12/1/09 at 1:39 pm to Chad504boy
quote:
You should credit the original author, St Dude over at saintsreport if you are gonna steal his stuff..just sayin
Maybe he is St Dude,
Sounded a little far-fetched regardless
Posted on 12/1/09 at 1:39 pm to goatmilker
quote:paper tiger
Welcome anyway . I think there's room for one more
LSU Fan
acadiana
Member since Feb 2006
5 posts
Online
I think he's been around a little while, don't let the post count fool you. I mean seriously, with a little imagination he could have gotten 200 posts out of that one..
Posted on 12/1/09 at 1:48 pm to helofixer
Helo, I am st dude.
I registered here a long time ago under paper tiger and only did one other thread over here. Its a tough crowd.
Its funny. About half of the people liked it and were friendly. The other half were really rude like this chad504 whoever the heck he is.
The lack of civility on message boards is astounding. I am a big saints fan and this was just some parody on the saints game and tiger woods, although I actually did end up yesterday on the Liberty drilling rig espn featured.
Chad504, I got you the first time you said the post was stupid. I am sure the post is to a lot of people. That does not excuse being rude.
I dont take it personally, its just message board nonsense and stuff. As my good friend helofixer would affirm, such personal attacks are not allowed at saintsreport.
Its funny. About half of the people liked it and were friendly. The other half were really rude like this chad504 whoever the heck he is.
The lack of civility on message boards is astounding. I am a big saints fan and this was just some parody on the saints game and tiger woods, although I actually did end up yesterday on the Liberty drilling rig espn featured.
Chad504, I got you the first time you said the post was stupid. I am sure the post is to a lot of people. That does not excuse being rude.
I dont take it personally, its just message board nonsense and stuff. As my good friend helofixer would affirm, such personal attacks are not allowed at saintsreport.
Posted on 12/1/09 at 1:54 pm to paper tiger
I liked this one a lot more than that Ellis/Hugh one on the Rant a couple weeks ago.
I enjoy your "walls of words" for their content as well as their ability to reveal personality traits.
I enjoy your "walls of words" for their content as well as their ability to reveal personality traits.
Posted on 12/1/09 at 2:43 pm to paper tiger
quote:
The other half were really rude like this chad504 whoever the heck he is.
I said its a lot of words and i would make sure nobody though i wrote that garbage.
quote:
Chad504, I got you the first time you said the post was stupid. I am sure the post is to a lot of people. That does not excuse being rude.
I only said it once. BTW, frick off. Oh, excuse me.
quote:
such personal attacks are not allowed at saintsreport.
Thats why saintsreport sucks arse and is for bitches only.
Posted on 12/1/09 at 2:49 pm to Chad504boy
quote:
Thats why saintsreport sucks arse and is for bitches only.
So true
Posted on 12/1/09 at 3:05 pm to Chad504boy
Chad, acting tough and cursing on message boards is really weak. You have to know that. And you know that you started it, not me. I am just a saints fan, one thats been around for a long time I might add, who put up a friendly parody post on a message board. I am sure there were others aside from you who did not like it who just ignored it. Whatever, I have no beef with you. I just dont get the cursing angryman thing some guys have working on message boards.
Posted on 12/1/09 at 3:11 pm to paper tiger
quote:
Eddie's mailbox and the Saints game
A story about life and football
Posted on 12/1/09 at 3:52 pm to paper tiger
This was a little (no, it was very) drawn out, but there was some humor in it.
Man, I now know I have too much time on my hands.

Man, I now know I have too much time on my hands.
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