Rehab....

Setting: Poolside at the Hard Rock Hotel in Vegas. Everybody stoked for the "Rehab" party. Up in his suite, Jeremy Shockey puts the finishing touches on his 'do with some Bed Head and a little pomade. He strides over to the full-length mirror and subtly flexes altenately his triceps and biceps. He admires how his muscles fill out the sleeves of his new "Affliction" tshirt, stretching the thin sleeves to their maximum. A subtle smile crosses his face. "Brah, I's ready".

30 minutes later....

Shockey is ensconced in a stool at the poolside blackjack table. His waitress brings another Vodka and Sugar Free Red Bull and sets it down by Shockey's other 2. "Thanks, brah," Shockey tells the female cocktail waitress. His huge Super Bowl ring clanks against drink #2, causing it to wobble slowly, then finally topple over the blackjack table. Light orange liquid and ice cubes pools across the felt table , drenching Shockey's cards.

"Sir, we're going to have to ask you to leave the table. This is the 4th time you have disrupted play." The dealer is clearly angry.

"S'okay, brah. I's done anyways." Shockey get up and leaves, double-fisting his remaining cocktails. "Yo, I feel like I's back at the Super Bowl... double-fisting Vodka and Sugar-free Red Bulls. I think I'll go sit down so I'll feel even more like I'm at the Super Bowl. I hate how X makes me feel all cotton-mouthed when I drink. I should order another Vodka and Sugar Free Red Bull. Gots to keep hydrated."



1 hours later...

Shockey: (to random passer-by) Hey brah, I don’t feel right….
Shockey: (5 minutes later) Yo brah….. sup… I dont feel straight…..
Shockey: (5 minutes later) Brah….. brah…… (blacks out)