The Twelve Days of Transfer Portal

Tiger edition. Come on guys, we’re getting closer. We only have a couple more days to get in tune and keep this portal open for the big one. Again from the top, everybody together this time.

On the first day of transfers, my portal king gave to me
A… Huh? What bs we didn’t sign the top three quarterbacks on day 1? Effing portal clown ??

Hey those are not the words.

On the second day of transfer, my portal king gave to me,
Two…Wait, people on offense might transfer away from kiffin? ?? ??
And a… dream of a qb from Cincinnati

Cut it out you two.

On the third day of transfers my portal king gave to me,
Three…just a wide receiver from hawaii?
Two…and some upcoming visits?
And a…wait? we didn't get the qb? Total clown ?? ????

And you in the back, follow along

On the fourth day of transfers, my portal king gave to me
Four…Some more skill players
Three…and kept the OC
Two…But no OL
And a…glass slipper for a new qb ????????

Ok nice touch, but seriously we’re not going to sign anyone singing like this.

On the fifth day of portals, my portal king gave to me.
Five! Demond! Williams!
Four…wide outs every down
Three…but No one to actually throw the ball.
Two…just use the defensive players?
And a…oh eff, we pissed off that qb ??????????

I told you to cut it out. You three in the front, stay together here.

On the sixth day of portals, my portal king gave to me.
Six…Whatever, we didn’t want that guy anyway
Five! We! have! Demond! Williams!
Four…Need four more starting OLs
Three…At least we have all three special teams?
Two…bama boys coming on a visit?
And a.. But wait, you can’t even play football if you don’t have at least one qb on the team and someone to block. ????????????

I’m sorry, is anyone left still singing the right words?

On the seventh day of transfers, my portal king gave to me:
Seven…Like are we just going to have a center and run some kind of weird wildcat?
Six…Gotta be better than last year. That DL is gonna be stacked though.
Five! No? More? Demond? Williams??? F.
Four… but at least some backup OLs?
Three…but srsly, someone has to be able to throw the ball
Two.. at least Ole miss went to hell
And a… really need someone to play qb. What about that kid who played WR and just transferred? ??????????????

Come on, there are cue cards up here. Just read the words and sing along.

On the eighth day of portals, my portal king gave to me:
Eight…Wait, some players might actually stay at ole piss?!
Seven… more OL left to sign
Six…More like ten more. We could really just let anyone be the qb. Have you seen the golden eggs that kiffin $#!*$ at qb.
Five! Effing! So! Close! To! Demond! Williams!
Four…mid majors recruits?
Three…made up qb leaks
Two…in state kids? I didn’t think we accepted those here.
And a..I mean I trust kiffin. We could even make it work with that guy from Florida who threw all those picks. Is he still available? ????????????????

Damn it who changed the cue cards

On the ninth day of transfers, my portal king gave to me

Nine…A big morning tweet today
Eight…A new 8 wide receiver playbook?
Seven…Like we need OL who can actually start a sec game before a qb will sign
Six…Wait, he's in Knoxville while another qb is on campus?
Five! Can't! Let! Demond! Williams! Go!
Four…We could get some of the OL from ole miss.
Three…No. They're terrible. There's a guy from Bama who might go to Vandy?
Two…That's dumb. Maybe those other two bama kids could play OL instead?
And a…coach who went to tell Cinderella she’s the prettiest girl at the ball ??????????????????

Just put down the cue cards. Let's sing it like we practiced.

On the tenth day of transfers, my portal king gave to me

Ten…I’m sorry, I really thought every available qb would just want to play here. Was I the one wrong here or…?
Nine…With the TE, we can go nine wide receivers?
Eight…don't forget Winnie and the jets.
Seven…Wait, cindy still took the Miami trip?!
Six…It's fine, did you read the Philly story.
Five! Not! Over! Demond! Williams!
Four…we all know it's total bs. just give me any qb
Three…and someone has to block for him, seriously just three OL so far?
Two... we finally got a qb from d2.
And a… make it d3. Idaf. Had you even heard of trinidad before kiffin? You could even bring back one of those guys that wasn't even better than nuss last year. ????????????????????

Guys, there's no time to go back and practice, we've got to get this together before the end.

On the eleventh day of transfers,my portal king gave to me…