Anytime We Are Convinced of American Infallibility, Just Recall the Era of Freedom Fries

Great Britain refusing to share intelligence related to Caribbean drug traffickers is a painful reminder of March 2003.

France declined to co-sign the Iraq War adventure, so Congress struck back at the only target it could reach: cafeteria potatoes. Representatives Bob Ney and Walter Jones solemnly renamed French fries “freedom fries” and French toast “freedom toast” on the House floor.

For those of us who remember, it was hailed as the culinary equivalent of Normandy in reverse. Patriots everywhere rejoiced. For three glorious years, school lunches and Applebee’s menus taught children that geography is flexible and carbs can be rebranded for liberty.

Then reality arrived: no WMDs, thousands dead (and Bob Ney heading to prison for unrelated corruption). In 2006 the menus quietly reverted.

Thus concludes America’s most heroic symbolic victory: we owned the French by misspelling lunch. Next time someone insists American instincts are infallible, drive through Wendy’s and tell your kids “these used to be Freedom…”