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Yankees (Schlittler) vs. Natinals (Lord): Crews Control on Hamilton Night
Posted on 8/25/25 at 5:44 pm
Posted on 8/25/25 at 5:44 pm
After an absolute DEMOLITION of Boston last night, the New York Yankees look to make it two straight as they do what they do best: beat up on teams with losing records. Coming off a game that contained two JAZZY DONGS and two Grish Special Moustache Rides, THE JUDGE continues his HISTORIC march to unanimous MVP. The Yankees turn to Cam Schlittler to continue his DAZZLING campaign, while the Natinals will start the False Prophet Brad Lord. While God punishes nonbelievers with eternal damnation, tonight The Punisher will be THE JUDGE, jury, and executioner; execution by the continuous jacking of JUDGEMENT DONGS. For the Natinals, Crews Missiles are in the forecast as the most exciting young hitter in the game looks to turn his season around. First pitch at 6:05!
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Posted on 8/25/25 at 5:50 pm to JerryTheKingBawler
Posted on 8/25/25 at 5:56 pm to dukke v
Here’s a musical number inspired by Hamilton:
“The Dong-Slammer Named Judge”
[Company]
How does a rookie, giant,
Son of California, quiet,
Step into the Bronx and cause a riot,
Defying all the doubters,
Tower over towers,
Blast balls to the moon with unholy power?
[Company]
The kid was taller, stronger, hitting harder every inning,
Left pitchers spinning,
Crowds screaming, beginning
To see the shape of a legend in the making,
Baseball’s foundations quaking—
Judge is what the Yankees have been waiting!
[Narrator (Smooth Jazz)]
The word spread quick:
“This man’s bat is sick.”
Every swing, every crack,
Every stat, every tick,
Made the bleachers lose their mind,
Made the headlines stick,
They said, “This isn’t luck—this is mythic, historic!”
[Company]
Soon he was known in every park, every town,
Every pitcher seeing him would only frown,
Put the ball in the zone? He’ll send it downtown,
Another dong launched, another Judge blast renowned.
[Chorus — Company, chanting]
He’s Aaron Judge! (Aaron Judge!)
Dong-cranker, game-breaker, Bronx savior, crowd shaker!
Aaron Judge! (Aaron Judge!)
Stand tall, swing strong, the king of the long ball!
[Company, softer, rising again]
When fans sing songs,
They’ll sing of his dongs,
The Judge who kept ruling
With blasts all season long.
“The Dong-Slammer Named Judge”
[Company]
How does a rookie, giant,
Son of California, quiet,
Step into the Bronx and cause a riot,
Defying all the doubters,
Tower over towers,
Blast balls to the moon with unholy power?
[Company]
The kid was taller, stronger, hitting harder every inning,
Left pitchers spinning,
Crowds screaming, beginning
To see the shape of a legend in the making,
Baseball’s foundations quaking—
Judge is what the Yankees have been waiting!
[Narrator (Smooth Jazz)]
The word spread quick:
“This man’s bat is sick.”
Every swing, every crack,
Every stat, every tick,
Made the bleachers lose their mind,
Made the headlines stick,
They said, “This isn’t luck—this is mythic, historic!”
[Company]
Soon he was known in every park, every town,
Every pitcher seeing him would only frown,
Put the ball in the zone? He’ll send it downtown,
Another dong launched, another Judge blast renowned.
[Chorus — Company, chanting]
He’s Aaron Judge! (Aaron Judge!)
Dong-cranker, game-breaker, Bronx savior, crowd shaker!
Aaron Judge! (Aaron Judge!)
Stand tall, swing strong, the king of the long ball!
[Company, softer, rising again]
When fans sing songs,
They’ll sing of his dongs,
The Judge who kept ruling
With blasts all season long.
Posted on 8/25/25 at 6:01 pm to JerryTheKingBawler
Posted on 8/25/25 at 6:02 pm to dukke v
Not a fan of musicals? I always viewed you as a man of culture.
Posted on 8/25/25 at 6:04 pm to JerryTheKingBawler
Play ball!
Ben Rice is aboard AND HERE COMES THE JUDGE!!!
Sissy walked him.
Ben Rice is aboard AND HERE COMES THE JUDGE!!!
Sissy walked him.
This post was edited on 8/25/25 at 6:23 pm
Posted on 8/25/25 at 6:52 pm to JerryTheKingBawler
Rice Rice Baby! Ben Rice solo dong makes it 2-0 Yankees AND HERE COMES THE JUDGE!!!
Posted on 8/25/25 at 7:25 pm to JerryTheKingBawler
Musical is amazing. Need a DONG tonight
Posted on 8/25/25 at 7:33 pm to littleavery1948
A GROUND RULE DOUBLE FOR THE JUDGE!!!!!! An RBI single for Belli, and ANOTHER JAZZY DONG for Smoooooth Jazz! 7-0 Yankees!
Posted on 8/25/25 at 8:34 pm to JerryTheKingBawler
Yankees winning again, gonna sweep the week. Might they score 80 runs this week?
Posted on 8/25/25 at 8:51 pm to littleavery1948
You two need DONGs every night.
Posted on 8/25/25 at 9:08 pm to FightinTigersDammit
Ballgame over! Yankees win! THHHHEEEE Yankees win!
Posted on 8/25/25 at 9:32 pm to JerryTheKingBawler
quote:
Here’s a musical number inspired by Hamilton:
Gayer than your obsession with dongs.
Posted on 8/25/25 at 10:17 pm to JerryTheKingBawler
YANKS DESTROY POWERFUL GNATS AND ALL RISE FOR THE TEAM DESTINED FOR THE WORLD SERIES AGAIN IN 2025!
This is it, Yankee fans.
THE YANKEES ARE BACK!
YANKEES WIN!!
THAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA--
YANKEES WINNNN !!!
This is it, Yankee fans.
THE YANKEES ARE BACK!
YANKEES WIN!!
THAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA--
YANKEES WINNNN !!!
Posted on 8/25/25 at 10:38 pm to Champagne
Judge has like 7 rbi since his injury return.. batting 218 
trash..
trash..Posted on 8/25/25 at 10:57 pm to TigerBait2008
THE JUDGE is still recovering from an injury that would keep a mortal out for two seasons and he’s still getting on base and playing runs.
Yankees Hamil10, Natinals 5!
Yankees Hamil10, Natinals 5!
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