My girlfriend gave me an ultimatum.

She said she is going to break up with me unless I sign a legal contract stating that she gets half of my assets if we ever break up.
(Yes, that is my sarcastic way of saying that she wants to get married).
I told her that I ran the numbers and it sounds a lot cheaper to just break up now instead of her idea where she gets half of my stuff if we break up.
She didn't like that answer.
I'll miss her if she bolts, but not as much as I would have missed half of my life savings.
That life savings took years to accrue.
A girl can be replaced tomorrow.