re: Would you refuse to speak to your adult kids if they changed their religious beliefs?

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No reasonable person believes that something that creates a routine of doing good for others is a bad thing. However, reasonable people can believe that something that causes, or otherwise justifies, the routine of doing bad towards others is a bad thing.

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This is such an important point, and something I try to stress to my kids, who are all agnostic/atheist.

I'm not religious and, in fact, find the entire premise ridiculous. That said, I'm respectful around folks who strongly embrace their faith. I bow my head when they pray, kindly accept their blessings, and keep my mouth shut when topics of religion come up. I do this because I think it's important to support people in whatever brings them joy and happiness or holds them to account. Religion is truly in the heart of believers and there's nothing I could ever say or do to change their minds..nor should I ever aim to change their minds.

My oldest, on the other hand, is outspoken. He ridicules believers and doesn't hesitate to roll his eyes at someone when they talk religion to him. It's my mission to get him to stop doing that shite and recognize the who diff'rent strokes for diff'rent folks mantra. Support others happiness.

Now, if he's got someone telling him he's going to hell for not believing? Game on...talk all the shite you want being they aren't being respectful of the beliefs which keep him grounded.