re: Depression is kicking my arse

OP you may need help from multiple people in your life. If you were 400lbs and wanted to get to 150, a PCP can’t help you alone, hell maybe not even a personal trainer alone. You need a therapists, and stick with them. You need to do like others say with working out, maybe see about hiring a life coach or whatever they are called. Need some immediate support from friends or family, someone you can trust outside your therapist. Get a primary care doctor. Start paying attention to the present moment intensely, enjoy all of it, work on not thinking about past and future, if you can’t stop, close eyes and focus on breathing. Get into a tv show, preferably comedy, watch on a regular tv preferably. Drop all social media and if you have to even TD for the time being. Set a timer on phone, put an hour limit on everything except text and phone calls.

Look into getting a dog, pay attention to detail around the room you are in. Look for 5 blue items, 4 yellow items, etc when thoughts are racing. Like others say, don’t drink, if impossible to stop, buy a small amount like 6 pack of beer or half pint of whiskey and ween yourself down.

1) Put down the phone
2) Talk to doctor, if you don’t want meds that good, but still go to a doctor and get a discussion started
3) therapist- will take a minimum of 10 sessions on average
4) present moment is all that matters
5) get a pet
6) Family and friend you trust and let them know your situation

Eta: As a Christian I’d recommend praying also but I don’t know your position on that