re: What do you do when grounding doesn't work?

quote:

---

What have you all tried that was fair and effective?

---

You may have to look inward first and see if there's a pattern on your side that obviously isn't having an effect. For example, if you're constantly yelling at him or being confrontational, you may have to change your approach. Admit your errors in your approach because the goal is to get them to open up emotionally to you. The hardest thing for me is not to loose my cool and let my anger explode or to say, "Because I'm the dad, and I said so." Nobody likes to hear that. Do you?

The respect is going to have to flow both ways. You need to remember, a 15year old has all kinds on new hormones, changes, going on. They're just as confused as you. Express how you can relate to that behavior and the consequences you had or explain to them you never did that so you don't understand why they're doing that. Ask them why but in a caring tone. explain to them how their actions hurt you and the mother.

Instead of a grounding, go the other direction of taking him for an outing and do something he wants to do. see if he can open up to you. Is he trying to be cool with friends? peer pressure or is he masking some emotional or physical trauma that happened to him. You want the relationship over obedience. In the end, you want them to make good decisions over controlling their behavior.

The opening up doesn't happen overnight or with one good outing.