re: Genuine OT help on a new engagee

The only and best advice I can give is to end your relationship with this woman. As others have said, there are lots of red flags and one day you’ll be sitting there, half of everything you own will be gone, you won’t be able to see your kids every day, etc. because you ignored the warning signs.

She has some sort of personality disorder and shuts down when there’s an important decision to be made. She has visions of how everything is going to be and freaks out when things might be different than her ideal. Imagine what she’s going to be like with a baby.

I might be projecting here but she’ll eventually blame you for “pressuring” her and you’ll become her enemy. She’ll think back to how nice it was before marriage and she will act out until you make the choice to end it. And if you are good with a destination wedding in Hawaii and expect anyone but a handful of close relatives and a couple of friends to attend, you’re kind of an arse.