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re: Genuine OT help on a new engagee
Posted on 10/9/23 at 10:23 am to lsunurse
Posted on 10/9/23 at 10:23 am to lsunurse
quote:
If you want all your elderly relatives there you are gonna have to ditch the destination wedding idea. Many of them may not 1) have the budget to travel and 2) physically can’t handle traveling so far due to medical conditions, etc.
You either want lots of family there or you want the destination wedding. Unless y’all are rolling in cash you won’t be having both…especially if y’all want Hawaii.
This and unless you know every person you want to attend can do so financially and physically, it's downright selfish to expect them to attend.
If she wants a destination wedding, she won't have all of her friends and family there. That's a fact. Destination weddings are far more stressful to plan, so the stress is going to be there much more than if she has the wedding more locally.
These are the things you should be discussing. Make a list of pros and cons of a destination wedding. Start there.
1
Posted on 10/9/23 at 10:33 am to Gris Gris
quote:
Destination weddings are far more stressful to plan, so the stress is going to be there much more than if she has the wedding more locally.
This is true. You have to rely on emails and phone calls for communication since you are not there. And just hope it looks like what the pictures promise when you arrive.
If OP’s fiancee wants a beach wedding….have one at a location where the people you absolutely want there could easily drive to. Be willing to help pay for travel costs for immediate family that you really want there.
And everyone will say now they will absolutely go to your destination wedding. Ignore that. As it gets closer to the wedding more and more will back out. Stuff will come up that they will need to urgently financially take care of that will mean they can’t afford to go. Be understanding and don’t take it personally. No one cares as much about your wedding as you.
If you have a destination wedding do NOT expect gifts from them. They are spending $$$ to go…that’s your wedding gift.
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