re: Genuine OT help on a new engagee

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want her happiness, that's it.

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I understand your premise here, but you can't want her happiness more than she does.

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I know this means the world to her and I told her I can help in any way possible but she's overwhelmed and she just wants the perfect wedding without the headaches

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Get the word "perfect" out of your head. A newborn baby is perfect. A wedding is not and will never be.

It appears that both of you are allowing the need to satisfy others to ruin what is meant to be the day for the two of you. You're both too focused on the "event." Yes, it's a special day, but it's just ONE day. I see and hear far too many people do this. Statistically, most marriages don't work. And they are far less likely to work the second and third time around. I don't say this to scare you. I say this to put the focus on the days after the "event" in order to have the most success possible and not be "let down" after the wedding day - which so many people look forward to, yet fail to realize is only the start of your marriage --- and not the climax.

My suggestion to you is to keep it simple. If she can't or won't make a decision and is too overwhelmed by the stress of trying to please everyone, shift the focus to strictly back to her and you. It's okay to be respectfully selfish.

Less is more and bigger is not always better.