quote:
You are 29, take care of your disabled Mom and recently lost your sister, unexpectedly.
Well F me.
I am 62 and know that would be a heavy burden on someone like myself.
Just understand you are not alone and the fact that you are taking care of your Mom makes you a really good person.
Take care of yourself now and please keep us updated.

Basically yes. And thank you, I try to be a good person, but this has weighed on me a lot. In the past 12 years I've had my uncle murdered by his wife and them unable to charge her after two autopsies came back inconclusive, another uncle die,both grandmothers die, found out the little girl I raised from birth wasn't mine when she was about to turn 3, and my boss who was like a grandfather to me died months after being assaulted by his son at the office while I was there. I don't let this shite out to friends, I internalize it and I can't do that anymore. I cant keep burying it. Every day my chest hurts, my hands shake and I'm not even 30. If I don't let this out its gonna kill me. I have too much that I've yet to do and I don't want to die in my 30's.

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Posted by yurintroubl

Dallas, Tx.

Member since Apr 2008

30164 posts

Posted on 3/10/23 at 4:54 pm to ColdTurkey

Sounds like you've been through about 5 lifetimes worth of grief. You are a VERY strong person for that alone. Until you get in to talk to somebody - Make sure you take care of the basics - Eat food and drink water. Put your headphones in and listen to something you enjoy (perhaps something you and your sister enjoyed). Music puts me in a headspace to relax. If you are exhausted - Movies and TV may be more difficult bc your eyes are tired. Get yourself a notebook and a pen/pencil. Start writing out whatever is on your mind. You can burn it, shred it... whatever you want later. For now - Since it seems you don't have somebody you feel you can talk to yet - You just need to start expressing your feelings and getting them out into the universe. If you are in any way like me - That will help and sleep will come.

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Posted by soccerfüt