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Message
re: I'm not crazy, you're crazy - Borderline Personality Disorder
Posted on 2/16/23 at 10:54 am to wheelz007
Posted on 2/16/23 at 10:54 am to wheelz007
quote:
For the sake of enjoying your life, move on from this relationship. Block all forms of contact. Let her torture someone else. Cause she will.
Unfortunately, the "someone else" will absolutely be the OP's children when they get old enough.
With these people it's always someone else's fault. The kids will be blamed for the divorce, etc.
Good luck OP in dealing with this. If you can't get her in couple's therapy, please work with someone on how to create boundaries for yourself. Don't take the bait. Ever. Remain neutral. Don't feed the bear.
1
Posted on 2/16/23 at 11:19 am to HouseMom
This is true. The children will be tortured but -
In my case, it's actually worked out as best as it can, up to this point.
We all moved to South Louisiana almost 10 years ago. She lasted 1 year, messed everything up again and moved back to North Louisiana.
It took a full year, but I won custody of the kids with a custody trial. She is still 3.5 hours away and their exposue to her is limited.
I will say this to anyone who is married with children to a borderline -
#1 You can AND WILL win custody of the kids. Here is what you need -
+ The medical diagnosis. I had 2 from diff time periods of her life.
+ Have them sign 6-8 Hippa forms for records requests.
+ Records reports from all of the jobs they've held. You will be surprised at the files managers have kept on them over the years. Their craziness is legit.
+ Medical screening reports. Many BPD's go to the doctor a lot. If she's seen multiple therapists, you can subpena them. Or Medical records.
+ You need documented examples of their instability and craziness. Example - keep a log of all the dramatic outbursts, blow ups, times they've moved or quit a job.
And I promise, you will win. And it's worth it. Mine cost me $15,000 and my guys have been with me 85% of the time for the last 7 and a half years.... a dude raising 2 dudes. It's great most of the time.
Keep this in mind too - the minute she gets hit with those "custody trial" papers, she is going to go ballistic. Pressure makes a pipe explode.
She will lash out at you. She will threaten and try to go scorthed earth on you but guess what.... you are in the drivers seat.
She does not have the means to really fight you because of how bad they are with money and maintaining normal, everyday life. She will threaten you with every thing under the sun, but those are just words.
She was fail MORE without you around. Let her. You were the one piece of stability in her life and she might go completely off the rails without you around.
In the 1 year that it takes to actually get to trial, she will make more messes, quit/ lose jobs, etc while you ease into a life of stability. All of this giving you more ammo. MORE AMMO.
She cannot be on her best behavior for 90 days, let alone 12 months.
Go for it. If I can do it, so can you.
In my case, it's actually worked out as best as it can, up to this point.
We all moved to South Louisiana almost 10 years ago. She lasted 1 year, messed everything up again and moved back to North Louisiana.
It took a full year, but I won custody of the kids with a custody trial. She is still 3.5 hours away and their exposue to her is limited.
I will say this to anyone who is married with children to a borderline -
#1 You can AND WILL win custody of the kids. Here is what you need -
+ The medical diagnosis. I had 2 from diff time periods of her life.
+ Have them sign 6-8 Hippa forms for records requests.
+ Records reports from all of the jobs they've held. You will be surprised at the files managers have kept on them over the years. Their craziness is legit.
+ Medical screening reports. Many BPD's go to the doctor a lot. If she's seen multiple therapists, you can subpena them. Or Medical records.
+ You need documented examples of their instability and craziness. Example - keep a log of all the dramatic outbursts, blow ups, times they've moved or quit a job.
And I promise, you will win. And it's worth it. Mine cost me $15,000 and my guys have been with me 85% of the time for the last 7 and a half years.... a dude raising 2 dudes. It's great most of the time.
Keep this in mind too - the minute she gets hit with those "custody trial" papers, she is going to go ballistic. Pressure makes a pipe explode.
She will lash out at you. She will threaten and try to go scorthed earth on you but guess what.... you are in the drivers seat.
She does not have the means to really fight you because of how bad they are with money and maintaining normal, everyday life. She will threaten you with every thing under the sun, but those are just words.
She was fail MORE without you around. Let her. You were the one piece of stability in her life and she might go completely off the rails without you around.
In the 1 year that it takes to actually get to trial, she will make more messes, quit/ lose jobs, etc while you ease into a life of stability. All of this giving you more ammo. MORE AMMO.
She cannot be on her best behavior for 90 days, let alone 12 months.
Go for it. If I can do it, so can you.
This post was edited on 2/16/23 at 2:15 pm
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