First and foremost, I think everyone who has a beloved spouse deep down is terrified of the situation you’re going through. I know it’s something that can send me down an anxiety train just to think about so I’m so very sorry you’re having to experience the real thing.

I’ll only address some of the questions you posted because you brought them up, as normally I don’t say a thing to people in these circumstances. What can you say really? But for the purposes of your post, I’ll take a shot at it.

As a man of faith myself, it irritates me to no end to hear people tell others who have lost a loved one that they’re in a better place in the immediacy after the loss. Jesus knew he would resurrect Lazarus, yet still he wept. The pain is real. The sorrow is relentless and to simply try to comfort it away by “your wife is in heaven” to me, there are better options. Assuming your wife shared your faith and belief in God, she is indeed in a better place, but that’s a discussion for another time.

As for why would God allow such pain and suffering, there are certainly theological ideas we can kick around, but I think more important now is to point out that God hates sin & everything brought about by it including death, loss, sorrow, pain etc. He understands the pain and it gives him sorrow to see his loved children suffer through it. I absolutely understand being mad at him and I won’t at all lecture you on your grief, but I do still believe that even in this season, he is indeed near to broken-hearted and the crushed in spirit. You’ll certainly need community to get through this time, so your willingness to be open and at least post about it is encouraging that you’re open to said community, especially with the kids involved.

I’m incredibly sorry you and your family are having to go through this, and I do sincerely mean it when I say my heart aches for you and I absolutely have already prayed for your family before I even hit submit on this post. I just want to encourage you that you’re not alone, there is help and there is hope. I know there’s not much at all that can be said to ease the sting of the moment, so I’ll leave it simply at the fact that there is hope. There are people who will walk with you. There is hope for a brighter day. God bless you sir, and please don’t ever hesitate to ask for help.

Also, where are you located? I’m sure depending on where y’all live, someone can recommend a grief counselor in your area.

This post was edited on 6/12/22 at 7:19 pm