re: Parenting question - 4 year old

I think what you did was just fine. I would supplement it with a routine that you stick to every night. At X time, you go to the bathroom, brush your teeth, we read a book (or whatever calming activity, you get your drink, your kiss and hug, we tuck you in. Good night!

If you start trying to placate her throwing tantrums, you're going to be doing it for the rest of her life. She needs to learn to control herself.

I would also whip a child that was kicking and screaming, but most people aren't comfortable with that anymore, especially girls.