So after watching all three movies of the mighty ducks trilogy in a ten hour span and not wanting to study for my geology test in two days this is what my life has come to. I am writing a where are they now article about a fictional hockey team and what they are up to these days. So after doing hours (and by hours I mean a few minutes) of research (research in this instance is defined loosely) here is what I came up with.
I am choosing to write about the team from the second mighty ducks movie for several reasons. This team won the junior goodwill games playing for America so it would make sense that this mighty ducks team is the most recognizable. Also I’m a huge patriot and love America so I like to talk about my beloved homeland and its victories whether it be world war deuce or the fictional junior goodwill games. This is also the team that a professional hockey team was named after (Anaheim Ducks). So lets get started….
Before we get to the Ducks lets find out where a few of the Iceland team members are. Gunner Stahl enjoyed a successful pro career in Iceland. Coach Wolf “the Dentist” Stansson went on to actually get his dentistry degree and owns a very successful practice in Iceland. Now to the Ducks..

Greg Goldberg: The loveable goofball goalie decided to start taking hockey more seriously. He knew he had to lose the weight so he went to a fat camp called “Camp Hope”. TV people decided to take advantage of this and filmed his time there and made it into a reality show called “Heavyweights”. After his weight loss he went on to play Division three collegiate hockey and started in goal all four years. He took over the family business “Goldberg’s Deli” and has opened four more stores two in Minnesota and two in his beloved hometown of Philadelphia. He has since put back on the weight.

Les Averman: Known for his quick wit and even quicker mouth got a commentating job for the NHL network. He has been suspended several times from his job for making fun of players, coaches, training staff, etc. After talking with his bosses they hinted that he keeps getting suspended because he refuses to shut up and annoys them.

Dwayne Robertson: Stopped playing competitive hockey after his freshman year of high school to pursue his first true love: roping cattle. After an extremely successful rodeo career he is now retired living on his ranch in Texas.

Ken Wu: figure skater child prodigy turned hockey player turned 3rd bash brother. After suffering a terrible injury that prohibited him from playing hockey he turned back to figure skating. He went to Yale on a full academic scholarship and graduated top of his class. He never stopped skating as you may have heard about him winning gold in the doubles competition in the winter Olympics with partner Tonya Harding after his original partner Nancy Kerrigan suffered a mysterious injury to the kneecap. Don’t make fun of him being a male figure skater though he isn’t scared to throw down and has two bigger bash brothers that are just a phone call away.

Adam Banks: Went to college on a full hockey scholarship and led his team to three national championships. If you guessed he joined a fraternity your absolutely right. The kid was playing roller hockey in a polo shirt of course he would go on to join a fraternity. After college he was the number one overall pick in the NHL draft. He was drafted by, you guessed it, the Anaheim Mighty Ducks. He has had a hall of fame career and won 4 Stanley cups with the ducks.

Russ Tyler: Creator of the most famous offensive weapon in Hockey history the “knuckle puck”. He too went to “Camp Hope” to lose weight with Goldberg and is seen in the TV docudrama “Heavyweights”. He went on to play college hockey at Grambling State University. He along with teammate Jesse Hall led them to their first conference title in school history. He now works at a boring desk job where he constantly gets in trouble for watching his old knuckle puck highlights and calling up old teammates just to chat.

Jesse Hall: Could not find much information on him. Would not answer calls or call back. All that could be found out about him was that he played with Russ Tyler at Grambling and now coaches a peewee hockey team. The teams name is fittingly The Cake Eaters.

Guy Germaine and Connie Moreau: These two are together because as we all know have been sweethearts forever. They went on to get married and have 5 children (all boys). All their children play hockey. Guy is their peewee coach and Connie is always seen in the stands cheering them on. They live the white picket fence American dream.

Luis Mendoza: After returning home to Miami he was at the wrong place at the wrong time and had to go into witness protection. You however may know him as speed skater Apollo Ohno. He still has trouble stopping from time to time.

Julie “the cat” Gaffney: Gaffney struggled after her career as a duck. She got into porn; her most famous work is “Julie and her cat Gaffney”. She also did a brief stint in rehab and is now drug free for 5 years. She now tends goal for the Maine Lobstars of the Womens National Hockey League.

The Bash Brothers: Fulton Reed and Dean Portman: After they finished with Hockey they went on to become professional bodyguards. They started for small timers like Biz Markie. Then moved on to bigger names; most famously rap mogul Soulja Boy. However they are faithful to their captain Charlie Conway and now serve as his bodyguards. But why would he need bodyguards?

Charlie Conway: captain of the Ducks. Charlie decided to use his leadership skills in the form of politics. He is now governor of Minnesota. He is favored to be the republicans’ next candidate to run for president of the USA in the next election. He won the governor election on the campaign slogan “ducks fly together”. He said if he is chosen to run for president his new slogan will be saying “quack” repeatedly until everyone joins in the chant with him. He has my vote #Conway2016. Unable to get past what he calls his glory days he still can be seen wearing his Ducks jersey around quite often. I’m told that he still lives up to his “spazway” nickname continuing to trip over himself in important situations.

Coach Bombay: Creator of the Ducks. Says the best day of his life was when he got arrested for a DUI or DWI (no one understands the difference including him he says). He says this because that is what let him meet the boys from district five and turn them into winners. He invested well and is now retired however in his retirement you can see him on the silver screen from time to time as Emilio Esteves’s stunt double.