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Roy Moore not sure what else he could have done to defame Republican Party

Posted on 12/13/17 at 9:12 am
Posted by Toddy
Atlanta
Member since Jul 2010
27250 posts
Posted on 12/13/17 at 9:12 am
Let's all enjoy a little Onion humor this morning.

HUNTSVILLE, AL—Scanning his mind for any minority groups he could have demonized more forcefully, Alabama Senate candidate and secret Democratic operative Roy Moore admitted Tuesday that he wasn’t sure what else he could have done to destroy the Republican Party’s reputation. “When Nancy [Pelosi] sent me here, I was convinced that revealing myself as a pedophile would be more than enough, but now I’m just at a loss,” said Moore, who admitted he thought DNC chair Tom Perez was going over the top by suggesting he say gay marriage had made the U.S. the source of all evil, but that didn’t even budge the polls. “I mean, I stood on a stage and wistfully recalled the era in which slavery existed in this country. What else am I supposed to do? I’ve been really digging deep to vilify the GOP and make myself unelectable, but I still might win.” At press time, Moore was kicking himself for not sabotaging himself more egregiously by claiming he supported a ban on assault weapons.

LINK
Posted by Lakeboy7
New Orleans
Member since Jul 2011
23965 posts
Posted on 12/13/17 at 9:14 am to
Its fun for this to get shoved up Trumps fat arse but I honestly wish Moore had won.
Posted by pvilleguru
Member since Jun 2009
60453 posts
Posted on 12/13/17 at 9:15 am to
quote:

I honestly wish Moore had won

You can frick off.
Posted by TheGasMan
Member since Oct 2014
3141 posts
Posted on 12/13/17 at 9:17 am to
LINK
The Onion with an update on Moore’s future plans.
Posted by Lakeboy7
New Orleans
Member since Jul 2011
23965 posts
Posted on 12/13/17 at 9:17 am to
quote:

You can frick off.


Would have been the greatest windfall for Democrats since the New Deal.
Posted by cwill
Member since Jan 2005
54752 posts
Posted on 12/13/17 at 9:21 am to


That's great.
This post was edited on 12/13/17 at 9:22 am
Posted by FooManChoo
Member since Dec 2012
41682 posts
Posted on 12/13/17 at 9:53 am to
I prefer the Babylon Bee

quote:

Nation Fondly Remembers Time Just Two Years Ago When Everyone Said Gay Marriage Wouldn’t Affect Christians

U.S.—Filled with a sense of nostalgia for the simpler time just several years ago, the nation looked back fondly on the time when everyone said Christians shouldn’t care who marries who, according to sources from around the country.

“Remember when liberals were telling us we shouldn’t care who marries whom, that it was none of our business and would never affect our lives in the least? Good times, good times,” one believer in Kentucky told reporters. “I was accused of having a persecution complex and committing the slippery slope fallacy when I said I worried that Christian business owners would eventually be forced to support gay marriage or face discrimination charges just two years ago.”

“That was pretty awesome,” he added as he checked the most recent developments on the Supreme Court case currently deciding whether or not Christians would have religious freedom in the public sphere going forward.

The nation’s Christians looked back on key moments in the gay marriage debate, such as the landmark Supreme Court decision back in 2015, when pundits and political commentators all around the country continually harped on the point that believers wouldn’t ever be forced to support or celebrate gay marriage.

“Everybody said asked why I should care who they loved. They said it was none of my business, but now they’re taking my business away,” a Christian photographer currently being sued for refusing to photograph a gay wedding said.
Posted by rintintin
Life is Life
Member since Nov 2008
16181 posts
Posted on 12/13/17 at 10:09 am to
quote:

honestly wish Moore had won.


Well that kind of exposes you as a shitty human being. If you believe the allegations about him to be true, why on Earth would you want that man in the Senate?

Can we ever put politics aside sheesh?
Posted by SDVTiger
Cabo San Lucas
Member since Nov 2011
73772 posts
Posted on 12/13/17 at 10:12 am to
quote:

Its fun for this to get shoved up Trumps fat arse


Damn you have issues
Posted by airfernando
Member since Oct 2015
15248 posts
Posted on 12/13/17 at 10:37 am to
quote:

. If you believe the allegations about him to be true,
only retarded people and biased people actually believe those charges. The "victim" admitted she's a liar.
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