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Prosecutor Tearfully Addresses Each Juror By Name, Phone Number, And Street Address

Posted on 4/20/21 at 6:25 pm
Posted by TigerVespamon
Member since Dec 2010
6062 posts
Posted on 4/20/21 at 6:25 pm
quote:

In Closing Argument, Prosecutor Tearfully Addresses Each Juror By Name, Phone Number, And Street Address

MINNEAPOLIS, MN—Prosecutor Steve Schleicher delivered powerful closing arguments today in the Derek Chauvin trial. In one especially touching moment, he made sure to individually address every member of the jury by name, phone number, and street address.

"I call on you, [redacted] whose phone number is [redacted] and who lives at [redacted]," he said through tears. "Do the right thing and pronounce the defendant guilty. And you [redacted], who can be reached at [redacted] and usually comes home each night at 6pm, I implore you to do what's best for you and your adorable 2-year-old boy. It would be a shame if Antifa found out where he goes to school."

Media reports indicated the jury appeared very moved by the closing arguments, as they were all shaking and crying by the end of them.

In yet another touching gesture, Antifa has already shown up at all the addresses with bricks and Molotov cocktails to help protect them in case any fascists show up.
BB
Posted by Deplorableinohio
Member since Dec 2018
5562 posts
Posted on 4/20/21 at 6:26 pm to
This can’t be true. Right?
Posted by MeatCleaverWeaver
Member since Oct 2013
22175 posts
Posted on 4/20/21 at 6:27 pm to
quote:

MINNEAPOLIS, MN—Prosecutor Steve Schleicher delivered powerful closing arguments today in the Derek Chauvin trial. In one especially touching moment, he made sure to individually address every member of the jury by name, phone number, and street address.


This is satire right?

Edit: I see Bee now. Lol
This post was edited on 4/20/21 at 6:28 pm
Posted by Deplorableinohio
Member since Dec 2018
5562 posts
Posted on 4/20/21 at 6:27 pm to
BB got me.
Posted by Mellow Drama
Flyover Country
Member since Aug 2020
3996 posts
Posted on 4/20/21 at 6:29 pm to
looks like the Bee is going for gallows humor now.

guess that's all we have left.

p.s. "gallows humor" has nothing to do with nooses, machines of execution, et al. if you're so educated, this goes without saying. so don't come after me, please

p.s.s. "black humor" or "black comedy" are not good word choices under the circumstances, either.

Posted by Kattail
Member since Aug 2020
3327 posts
Posted on 4/20/21 at 6:35 pm to
quote:

"I call on you, [redacted] whose phone number is [redacted] and who lives at [redacted]," he said through tears. "Do the right thing and pronounce the defendant guilty.


I would consider this a threat.

Edit: True or not, sadly, it is believable
This post was edited on 4/20/21 at 8:23 pm
Posted by BringThePaine
Omnipresent
Member since Apr 2021
39 posts
Posted on 4/20/21 at 6:37 pm to
quote:

This can’t be true. Right?
Lord help us.
Posted by JackieTreehorn
Malibu
Member since Sep 2013
29072 posts
Posted on 4/20/21 at 6:46 pm to
It’s true clown world when I cant tell a real story from the bee. frick the media.
Posted by Yeahright
On a big sphere out there.
Member since Sep 2018
1924 posts
Posted on 4/20/21 at 6:51 pm to
Dude, please delete this dumb shite. Some people on here are dumb enough to just read the title and believe this crap.
This post was edited on 4/20/21 at 6:55 pm
Posted by 88Wildcat
Topeka, Ks
Member since Jul 2017
13939 posts
Posted on 4/20/21 at 7:41 pm to
Just a tip when some people see BB they think of Babylon Bee. Some other people see Breitbart.
Posted by TerryDawg03
The Deep South
Member since Dec 2012
15705 posts
Posted on 4/20/21 at 8:02 pm to
Actually believable headline.
Posted by habanos
Alabama
Member since Feb 2014
1937 posts
Posted on 4/20/21 at 8:05 pm to
This actually happened. Just not by anyone in the court it self.
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