A man, a stick and a snake

I was driving home the other day and when I made a left turn close to my driveway, I saw a big ol snake in the road. I didnt run him over but I sure as hell pulled into said driveway and left the truck running to do what any man would do.

I found a stick.

It was time to investigate. Of course it looked, at first glance, like a dead snake. Banded water snake. Eyes were glossed over but it was peculiar, as the were no signs of trauma. I’m thinking, why in the hell is this snake just laying here waiting to be road kill?

It was time to put my stick into action. I poked it once. Nothing. Poked it a couple times for good measure. Then I figured I’d just see how far I could fling it with my newly found badass stick.

And as soon as I lifted it, that yellow bellied bastard struck at my badass stick so I yelped like a pup and scooted it to the ditch.

A couple of cars saw me with my stick so screw you guys, don’t ask me for pictures.

A man with a stick ready to poke snakes doesn’t have a damn camera in the other hand waiting to instagram.

Snakes play possum too.