You do understand why people choose this option? So the child is still biologically theirs. You don't have that desire to be a parent at all so you couldn't understand the desire as well to have a child that you know is biologically yours. Maybe it's a woman that had to have a hysterectomy due to cancer or some other medical issues but was able to freeze her eggs before all that happened. Why should she be denied the chance to hold a baby that is hers? Why should she have to settle with adoption if there are other options out there?

quote:
But, to think of a woman carrying a child to term, knowing it was for someone else?

Kinda like when a pregnant women knows she is gonna put the baby up for adoption? She carries the child to term...knowing it is for someone else.

No offense...but you also think normal things like marriage and monogamy and being a parent in general are weird.

Surrogacy was never an option I ever considered (even though my fertility clinic asked us how far we were willing to go and asked if we would consider a surrogate). It's insanely expensive....like 80-100K. Sooo many legal fees, the woman who is the surrogate you have to pay for ALL of their medical costs out of pocket because their insurance will NOT cover a surrogate pregnancy.

This post was edited on 12/28/19 at 8:28 am

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Posted by Proximo

Member since Aug 2011

25107 posts

Posted on 12/28/19 at 8:21 am to Sao

Sao, presumably a “man” genetically, is trying to convince women of the morally right thing to do with their bodies? Hmm, not so progressive of you

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Posted by liz18lsu

Member since Feb 2009

18134 posts

Posted on 12/28/19 at 8:29 am to lsunurse

quote:
Kinda like when a pregnant women knows she is gonna put the baby up for adoption? She carries the child to term...knowing it is for someone else.

Usually because of an unplanned and unwanted pregnancy. I am adopted on my Dad's side, and my sister is fully adopted. Forgive me for thanking people for taking us in.

And I don't consider "normal" things like marriage and children weird, they just aren't for me.

ETA: "Settle" for adoption? Really? Don't those kids deserve love too?

This post was edited on 12/28/19 at 8:30 am

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Posted by lsunurse

Member since Dec 2005

129146 posts

Posted on 12/28/19 at 8:37 am to liz18lsu

quote:
"Settle" for adoption? Really? Don't those kids deserve love too?

Adoption isn't the only option that is all. There is nothing wrong with a couple wanting to have a child that is biologically theirs. It's the normal desire. Adoption isn't for every couple facing infertility. Yes it's a great option and a very noble thing to do...but again...it isn't for everyone. And there is nothing wrong with that.

A couple wanting to explore other options that are available due to advances in medical science shouldn't be made to feel bad because they don't want to "just adopt"

As someone that has dealt with the heartache of infertility the past 5 years I have heard time and time and time again from people "why not adopt?". Like they thought they had just solved all my heartache. Or like I had never considered that before. Not understanding that it was just not an option we wished to pursue for numerous reasons.

ETA: Good friend of mine adopted her daughter. Her plan was to adopt more than one child later on. She was so traumatized by the whole adoption process....she now refuses to go through it again and will just have one child. I saw first hand what an emotionally painful process it was for her and her husband. Adoption is not easy, especially not today.

This post was edited on 12/28/19 at 8:42 am

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Posted by liz18lsu

Member since Feb 2009

18134 posts

Posted on 12/28/19 at 8:40 am to lsunurse

I do understand, but as a person who is intimately familiar with adoption, I am glad there are people who are willing to take in strays. Nothing but love for you, Nurse.

This post was edited on 12/28/19 at 9:05 am

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Posted by Mizz-SEC