re: RIP Norm Macdonald

Posted on 9/15/21 at 5:01 pm to upgrayedd

Posted by OMLandshark

Member since Apr 2009

117998 posts

Posted on 9/15/21 at 5:01 pm to upgrayedd

Another few of my favorite Norm Update jokes:

quote:
FBI Director Louis Freeh said this week that Attorney General Janet Reno might have a conflict of interest in her investigation of Democratic fundraising. Freeh also pointed out that Reno might have a conflict of interest between her X and Y chromosomes.

quote:
O.J. Simpson was in a different courtroom this week, attempting to regain custody of his two children. In order to prove to the court how much he loves his kids, O.J. pointed out, quote: "Hey they're still alive, aren't they?!!

quote:
Well, Bart, the 1800 pound bear, who co stars with Anthony Hopkins and Alec Baldwin in the movie The Edge, reportedly earns a whopping $10,000 per day as a Hollywood actor. A small amount of the grizzly's income goes toward the preservation of bears' natural habitat. Bart spends the remaining money on bear whores and cocaine.

quote:
Well, Reader's Digest has released its 1997 list of the best and worst places to raise a family in the United States. The best place? Sheboygan, Wisconsin. While the worst place in America to raise a family? The Neverland Ranch.

quote:
The announcement of the O.J. civil verdict came toward the end of President Clinton's annual State of the Union address and, to many observers, completely overshadowed the event. Even the President was distracted during his speech, waiting to hear exactly how much it costs to kill your wife.