re: How to keep life interesting

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To the OP….. Now imagine a person fighting cancer with chemo every two weeks. That should make you feel better.

Every day you have is a gift from God. Don’t take them for granted.

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For a real dose of reality volunteer at a children's hospital if you can take it emotionally....Our daughter had a minor birth defect when she was born and we spent some time at Egelston Children's Hospital in Atlanta and Ronald McDonald Houses in Atlanta and Nuremberg, Germany. We realized how fortunate we were at what was the lowest point in our lives...our problems were miniscule to those we saw others dealing with. This is the essence of humanity, empathy for others. Everyone has issues they have to deal with, getting out of your own head and realizing that others have issues you might be able to help ease is the most fulfilling thing one can experience. Before COVID we would cook breakfast 4 days a year at a Ronald McDonald house. We took our kids with us. It is one of their fondest memories. It is by far as fulfilling as anything I have ever done. Just the simple act of simple pancakes and sausages for families at the lowest point in their lives....the reward is beyond description. There are thousands of similar opportunities, they do not all involve sick folks or things that one would rather not have to think about, cleaning up parks and helping build a playground, anything that gets you out of your own head and among other people with a common goal. It is what being human is about. We are pack animals, very few of us are lone wolves...we need other people and we need shared goals...its what we are as a species.

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Find a 25 year old who is ready to settle down.

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Seriously women are more mature than men at almost all ages.....10 years is not a bad idea. My wife and I are about 14 months different in age...she is younger than me, and we have a fantastic relationship but I have always been an old man even when I was 15.....most men mature when they start a family but many only do so because they have to and grow to resent it....they tend to have massive mid-life crisis's that lead to all manner of ill shite. It may be that the reason a man in their mid 30s is not married yet is because they simply weren't ready to make that commitment. Nothing at all wrong with that....in fact it is probably better than making that commitment before you are ready. Women tend to be ready at a younger age....that may mean the marriage is more fulfilling and succesful.

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Not a popular take but becoming a parent post-40 is selfish. I know everyone thinks they are going to live until 95. The reality is that there is a good chance you'll have health issues in your 60's and die mid-70. You want your kid to be just starting adult life when their parents get cancer? Funeral for parents when they are starting their own family? Forget actually being able to help out with the grandkids.


You should be a grandparent in your 50's, not a parent.

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In an ideal world you have a valid point. We had our daughter when I was 44 and my wife was 42. Our son was 11 when our daughter was born. I know I worry constantly about dying before she is a viable adult...in fact I have taken measures to improve my health to try to prevent it. We do not have the energy we had with our son, that is indisputable. We will retire about the time she graduates from college so we will not have the income to do for her what we did for our son his first few years out of college. These are simple facts of life. What we did have was far more financial stability, far more time to spend with both of them - neither of us have to work 80 hours a week to make our nut like we did when our son was young. There are some upsides but your point is valid.

That said full retirement age for us is 67....I think it may be as much as 70 for some younger people but I am not sure. If a kid is going to be a viable adult they probably ought to be well on their way by 25. A 42 year old person is not a terrible candidate. Life expectancy is around 80 or so. If the kid is making their nut by the time you are 67 you have beaten the odds.

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frick that. Mine will be 8 and 10 when I turn 44 in a year. I am all for having kids later in life (was 34 for first). Having kids is a younger persson’s game for most part. I wouldn’t have energy for a newborn at 43

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I was 43 when my wife told me she was pregnant with our daughter. It was, to say the least, a shock. I thought I would never have the energy for it....and I was right. What I was not right about is the fact that I am, first and foremost, a daddy (anyone with a dick can be a father, it takes a man to be a daddy). I found the energy and I am still finding it. You are already a father and most likely a daddy - you'd find it. It ain't easy but it also ain't hard...its just something you do. I am of the opinion that a child is a blessing no matter the situation. It is seldom financially advisable to have a child and it almost never an ideal situation...if our parents waited for it be advisable to have a child very few of us would exist.

Beautiful perspective… thank you for being you