Book Board: Herodotus's Histories

Just started it. It's fricking hilarious.

In the first couple of pages: Do not be vengeful if a pirate steals your wife for a woman who would go with a pirate will be no good to your household

Then the first real story about the king of Lydia:

King: My wife is fricking hot. Servert, my wife is hot isn't she.

Servent: it would be innaprorpriate for me to comment.

King: well, I'm telling you she is. Do you want to see her naked.

Servent: that would be innaprorpriate sir.

King: Nah man, I'm ordering you. Come sneak into my room to watch her.

So the servent does and the queen sees him and calls him out on it.

Queen: either I kill you for sneaking into my room or you kill my husband for allowing me to be violated.

Servent: that would be..

Queen: decide

And the servent decided for his life and that's how Lydia got a new King.

Lol