My oh so clever parody of The Raven

From the point of view of Zombie Edgar Allan Poe:

Once upon a Monday dreary, while I considered, weak and weary.
Over most copious amounts of absinthe and more
While I pondered, nearly crapping, thinking of the Saints, quite entrapping
And their offense slapping, and neck snapping the Ravens of B'More
"Tis some warriors!" I exclaimed, hosting and embarrasing my Baltimore
The shitty city , I adore.

As I sit in pain trying not to remember in this morbid month of November
I ventured to the clerestory to view my town, which is an eyesore
Eagerly I wish for 'morrow; - Sadly for this town bizzaro
For my lavender birds I have sorrow - sorrow contemplating the football score
For surely T. Hill will break another record as they tally up the football score
Why can't we have Dalton! Jackson is a whore!

Presently, they play stronger; hesitating not to conquer
"Sir" said I, begging for, at least, espirit de corps
But the fact that I was crapping; and so violently your fans are fapping
While the defense is handicapping my Ravens of Baltimore
On Tuesday the dispatch will be recapping - The highlights you can't ignore
The Saints will pulverize us to Feathers, Nothing More