Any Theory or Composition Enthusiasts?

I write all of my stuff by feel and what sounds good to me. I can't read music or intentionally play a scale. I don't even know what notes I'm playing the majority of the time.

So to become a more technical musician, I started reading about music theory. Any of you know of any good resources that can explain this stuff like I'm a five year old? Kinda regret quitting band in 3rd grade when they wouldn't let me play snare...