An academic analysis of "I'd do anything for love" and "I can't go for that."

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"You can really miss the subtle themes in these musical pieces because of the infectious melodies" says Arthur Goldberg, head of the Sociology department at Columbia University. "I was simply taken aback to discovery the real issue that laid underneath the lyrics: woman on man anal fingering. You have to understand at this time it was still taboo, and yet it was a time of experimentation and exploration. Things really racketed up once Cosmopolitan hit the newsstands. Homecomings, prom nights, and honeymoons were ruined. But out of the ashes arose a wave of brilliant song writing. These are the two most well known songs inspired from this trend, but it's truly impossible to know just how much of the radio waves were a result of 'finger banging'"

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"Both songs are a rather offensive expression of white male anal privilege" says Patricia Kinsman, professor of Women's Studies at Texas A&M. "For years women had suffered in silence as men trespassed into their anal canals with fingers stained from oppression. We see it in the medical tents during the civil wars, and splattered on the back seats at the 50's drive end theaters. What was really happening starting in the 60's and on into the latter half of the century, was a movement towards freedom. These men saw fingers puttering around their anuses, but it was really women searching for equality."

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