Apologies to Randy Newman

To paraphrase Randy Newman:


Last night I saw Lester Miles on a TV show
With that smart-arse Kurt Herbdouche
And Herbie laughed at Lester Miles
And the audience laughed at Lester Miles too
He may be a fool, but he's our fool.
If you think you're better than him, you're wrong
So I went to the park and took some paper along
And that's where I wrote this song:

We talk real funny down here
We drink too much and we laugh too loud
We'd never live in no Northern town
Keepin' the Gayters down

We got Jort-wearing Swampers from Gainesville
And Cock Lovers from Columbia, SC
And college men from LSU
Went in smart - come out smarter too
Hustlin' 'round Atlanta with their tailgate crew
Gettin' drunk every weekend at their Pre-Game Barbecue
Keepin' the Bammers down

We're Tigers, we're Tigers
Unlike Gumps we know our arse from a hole in the ground
We're Tigers, we're Tigers
We're keeping the Sooey Pigs down

Now your northern fan can be a Buckeye
You see he's got his slow-arse "D"
Down here we've come to realize
That the Yankees & SEC let the Tigers run free

Yes we're free to put a whoopin'
on frickeyes from Columbus
And we're free to put a whoopin'
on the Laters from Norman
And we're free to put a whoopin'
on Bullpups from Athens, from Starkville
And we're free to put a whoopin'
on the Vols from Knoxville
And we're free to put a whoopin'
on the Seamen from Nashville
And we're free to put a whoopin'
on the Tigers, War Eagles, and Plainsmen from Auburn
And we're free to put a whoopin'
on the Trunk Humpers from Tuscaloosa
We're gatherin' 'em up for Les Miles & the Boys
Keepin' the Rebels down

We're Tigers, we're Tigers
Unlike AR-Kansans we know our arse from a hole in the ground
We're Tigers, we're Tigers
We're keeping the Mildcats down

We are keeping the Gayters down