re: Biggest assholes in the animal kingdom

Mallard ducks nest near me. They pair up with mates but any single male flying over will swoop down and start raping any female he sees. You hear all of this terrible squawking and her partner will go bonkers and bite and hit the rapist but man they never let up until the deed is finished. This literally happens 1-3 times a day.

If any Mallard duck were to take his clutch of ducklings on the Maury show for a paternity test he would get a LOT of "you are NOT the father!"

Also, Great Horned Owls are beautiful birds but they wreak havoc on the nests of other raptors. I used to follow a bunch of nest cams and I stopped because eventually a GHO will show up one night and brutually kill the chicks. I don't know how any other raptors even exist. I guess it's a numbers game - if we hatch 40 chicks over our lifetime and 2 of them don't get killed by GHOs then we did our part and won the population battle.