re: Did your wife change after your first kid?

Yes but I did as well. You go from having nearly unlimited free time outside of work to no free time at all unless you trade off. Figuring out how to share the burden of parenting early on is really the key to it all imo. It won't always be even due to careers, etc but you are crazy if you think you can place most of the burden of parenting on your wife and not expect long term resentment and relationship issues.

Back to the original question, we are both more patient, tired, spend less time with casual friends, more time with our parents (son's grandparents) and direct family, and very selective with our free time. My wife dealt with postpartum anxiety for 6 months or so - that was not fun at all combined with no sleep (my son was an awful sleeper until he was old enough for sleep training/CIO). Dramatic improvement once he was sleeping better...lack of sleep early on really is the worst.