re: The Bitterness of Missing Out on Love

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I've been in your boat. I was successful in my career, people seemed to like me, and I was a functioning member of society. It killed me that "all the good ones were taken" and "why doesn't anyone like me". I caused me a ton of pain to see happy couples, and just feel broken.

It sounds so, so counter intuitive, but you have to let go of those feelings. Even if you stumble into a relationship, it'll be more about the "relationship" than the actual person. You won't like/love the person, you'll love/like the idea of the person and what they represent. It is destined to fail.

See a psrink, get involved in a bunch of new activities to meet people, and calm the frick down. Even if everything doesn't work out (it will), you'll be the cool guy in your 30's, 40's, and 50's that constantly has a string of dates.

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A lot of good points, and you're right, I have to let go out of the hatred that I have. Both for the women who rejected and the times that in many ways I've rejected myself.

Like you it pains me seeing couples out kissing and hugging. It pains me every time I'm at some restaurant or bar and the bartender/waiter is like "oh just yourself?" like I have some choice in the matter.

Like you said I don't want to be in a relationship just to be in one. That's never what I wanted and even if I am miserable at the moment I'd rather stay single than be in a horrible relationship.

But you're right with all your suggestions. Really I need to find myself again. I lost myself along the way and I need to find what makes me happy again. I am seeing a therapist so hopefully she will be able to help with that.