re: I’m headed to rehab tomorrow. ((Updated OP))

There's a lot of discussion regarding drinking in moderation during recovery. Most alcoholics can't just have one. The reason why most alcoholics drink is to numb something they are dealing with. When I drank it was to get wasted and drunk and forget about the ex that abused me. Now I wasn't physically dependent on alcohol. I only drank at night after the kids were asleep to fall asleep myself and forget about the loneliness. Then I woke up the next morning feeling like crap and did it all over again.

I realized it was an endless cycle that had no purpose. Why was I drinking? What was the point? To get a buzz, to get drunk and to forget.