re: I don't know what to do. I just want to end it

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Not an attention seeking post. I'm going through some severe regret and depression right now. I lived on top of the world for awhile and everything just feels like it's crashing down around me. I haven't done anything wrong to anyone. Most of my long time friends won't talk/hangout anymore. I've lost the girl I dated for years that I wanted to marry. I have a great job making good money for someone my age and own a part of company that was doing well, so I signed off on a new company vehicle for my business partner and co signed the company credit card. Well he basically just stopped working and collection agencies are calling me and I just don't give a frick I'm not paying I can't afford it and I'm not letting them take all the money I've saved from my own hard work.

I'm at the point I'm just rat holing cash out of my account and blowing it on coke and partying alone with nobody around that cares for me and when it's gone I want to just end it all. frick life and frick everyone else. I don't know what to do I just like everyone around me has been using me all this time

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My idea of hell is being in an inescapable, isolated place, completely alone, and all I think about is my life on earth, family and friends, and all the memories, knowing that I won't be able to forget them until eternity has passed. I scream and beg to forget everything, and for it to be well enough for me to be alone, and motionless, forever.