re: I don't know what to do. I just want to end it

I lost a 27 year marriage, was left with two kids to f8nish raising on my own, got laid off from 20 yr career, and had a couple of pretty wicked accidents that temporarily disabled. That all happened over a five year period. That was over ten years ago and I sure as hell had not planned on starting over in my 50's. Yes, I got depressed. Yes, I quickly learned that "our" friends were actually "her" friends. I even had one husband confide he cold not be around me per orders of his wife. The first thing I did was reach out to a couple of friends who had been there and had my true interest at heart. While waiting to be rehired, I did sone thing to keep some money coming in although I did not work full time. My first priority was to get a damned good lawyer for the divorce. Next, take care of the kids as best as I could and help them get out on their own. In t h e meanwhile the folks who laid me off all git fired. Seven months after being laid off, I got rehired with all seniority and benefits restored along with retirement. I finally got over just about all of the damage caused by the accidents. These days I have my adult children, I date when I want to, yep still get some pretty damned good pussy from time to time. I took a financial hit for a few years, but I am now in a much stronger posture than ever. I did go do some time with a therapist which was worth it. I have learned to be more selective about friends and not try to make impressions. The only ones I worry about impressions with are my children and that ugly bastard that keeps showing up in my mirror. It is a good opportunity for self-reflection, providing you are willing to be honest with yourself. It is a good time to look at redefining your perspective about live and bc what you want out of it. Simplicity is not a bad thing. I have had it all, lost a lot of it and got back what I turly bc wanted. I fInd myself more at peace these days. My faithful dog stayed by my side for the whoLe thing and is still there. Sometimes they're the on k y authentic creatutes around. Get rid of the drugs, get a lawyer to straighten out the business, go find a good therapist, take time to mourn the loss, din't stay holed up in the house all day. Don't go for another girlfriend until you straighten your own shite out. Find a life outside of work. You will live to enjoy retirement one day.

Be honest with yourself about your mistakes and try not to repeat them.

Slowly simplify your life until the stress is very minimal. At that point, that is all you need in life.

I am a lot older than you and if I could pull myself up by my bootstraps and reboot, so can you. Sometimes it is just not easy being a man, which is why our dads were a little tough on us ...... they knew.

If you need to right now, go to your nearest ER if you really feel suicidal and are not just attention seeking.

Answer one question .... why did your friends abandon you?