re: Divorce can bring out the worst in people and get pretty nasty

quote:

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i want some input

what about the system is so bad?

what do y'all think would help the system be less conflict-filled?

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My divorce was simple and DIY. The biggest aggravations for me were how long I had to wait in this state, even without kids, attempting to decipher the process on my own, multiple steps to file, etc. It felt like unnecessary government overreach, and made it clear to me that we turn a romantic notion into a government-regulated status. I’d be perfectly happy to say I’m married & never sign the paperwork. It should be that fricking hard to get a marriage license in the first place.

My BF’s divorce has cost tens of thousands in lawyer fees because he & his ex couldn’t work out any steps on their own. It’s insane. Her lawyer never responds, or responds at the 11th hour, so court dates get pushed back more months, etc.

I didn’t want anything from my ex when I divorced, so it was easy. I don’t want anything from a future romantic partner, either. I can take care of myself. I’ve seen what a nightmare it is when you have to go to a judge for every single thing, and I want no part of that. We can stay unmarried, keep things even, and divide our shite on our own if we break up.

I don’t know how to make the system less conflicted in traditional/OT relationships where the man makes 10x what his wife earns & she stays home to raise kids. That is a career decision they made as a couple, so I don’t think she should walk away with nothing. I also don’t think she should get everything. It’s not a situation I’ll ever be in, so I haven’t given it a lot of thought.