re: Can I become a Colonel somehow without doing any work?

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Get appointed head of the La. State police. His official rank is Colonel and he doesnt do shite except play politics and go on junkets.

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You could also just ask the Louisiana Governor. Apparently, Elvis' manager, "Colonel" Tom Parker, obtained his title through then La. Governor, Jimmie Davis.

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In 1948, Parker received the rank of colonel in the Louisiana State Militia from Jimmie Davis, the governor of Louisiana and a former country singer, in return for work Parker did on Davis' election campaign.[12] The rank was honorary since Louisiana had no organized militia, but Parker used the title throughout his life, becoming known simply as "the Colonel" to many acquaintances.[12]

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LINK

He was a hell of an intriguing character.